Navigating the dating scene can be challenging, but asking insightful questions can not only deepen your understanding of your potential partner but also help you determine if they are compatible with your life goals and aspirations.

A user asked the forum, What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone? Here are the top responses. 


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Checking the marital status is important because going on a date with a married person is not a good idea. “Are you married?” 


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Raising kids is not something one person can do in a relationship, and both must go along and share responsibilities. Before dating someone, asking about their preference for having or not having kids will make things easy. 

“Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, they are incompatible. And it is better to try dating someone else.”

“My ex and I discussed this at the beginning of our relationship. I was pretty hardline on no kids. She brought it up again a year later, and we parted ways because I still didn’t want kids, and she said she stayed in the relationship with me because she thought I’d change my mind.” 


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“What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?”


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“A person’s thought pattern says much more about their personality than anything. Knowing how they change their mind will help you analyze whether they will stay with you. 

“When was the last time you changed your mind about something? Opens a window to how they think.” 


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“Do you like dogs?”

But you have to say it like Brad Pitt in Snatch.”


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“Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time.

If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO, but you have no interest in them, that could also be an issue. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc., either that partner is annoyed, or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love.”


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“What’s in your wallet?”


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“Would you still love me if I were a worm?”


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“Maybe we should also ask, “What questions, when asked by a potential date, are red flags for you?”


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You may be allergic to smoking. So, asking if a potential date smokes is an excellent idea to avoid awkward situations is a good idea. 

“Do you smoke?”  “This is a great question to ask! I don’t like the smell of smoke.” 


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“While many may not agree with this very direct method, if you are truly trying to find a long-term match and not waste either person’s time, talk about the big five as soon as possible. My husband and I had the talk on our second date. We’ve been together since 2015.

The big5 are:

  • religion
  • politics
  • children (to have or to have not)
  • finances
  • deal breakers: human rights / personal ethics concerns etc.” 


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“Children want them? Adopt? Already have them?

Religion/spirituality. For a lot, you have got to be the same sect and church.

In my experience, this has been the biggest 2. Sure, the issues came up in previous experiences, but they were a build-up of issues. But only those 2 were big deal breakers where otherwise great chemistry wasn’t enough.”


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“Are you going to be financially dependent on me?”

I wish I’d known that with all my relationships after I turned 18.”


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“What they do to handle stress (genuinely), if they are in any other relationships, and if they have the same intent in dating as you. Nothing worse than finding out four years later that he thinks he’s poly and never thought you needed to know.”


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“So, how much personal debt do you have? Source: a guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some.”

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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.

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