A user asked, what is the worst part of being a parent? Here is what others have to say:
1. Handing Sick Kids
“Kids have an incredible ability to get sick during the most inconvenient times. Being sick as an adult is bad. Being sick and having a sick kid takes it to a new level.”
2. Worried About If Something Happens To Them
“The worry that something horrible will happen to them. Sickness, kidnapping, getting lost, etc., never goes away. Ever.”
“As my sister said once, every time one of her kids left the house, it felt like she was taking her heart out of her chest and sending it out into the world. “Please don’t let anything happen to my heart. I need it to live.”
3. Handling Injuries
“Injuries – I would also add getting injured at inconvenient times.
My wife and I had the flu this winter, and my 3yo decided she was going to help us feel better at 3:30 am by making us tea. She got out of bed, went to the kitchen, and dropped a glass teapot on the floor, lacerating her feet. So I got to have the flu at the hospital while my daughter got stitches.”
4. Picking Schools For Them
“Picking Preschool – The worry of picking a preschool with ‘enough’ security and safety measures has wrecked me.
We toured the school my toddler will go to this fall, and the first thing I asked about was security: locked doors, escorting the kids individually into/out of the building, etc. It makes me sick to the stomach that I must worry about that.”
5. Figure Out Snacks
“Figuring out three meals, 8,000 snacks, 1,000 activities and settling for the fact they won’t like, want or do any of them. Sometimes they ask for something, so you go out of your way to get it. Then they take a bite and decide they do not want it. Well, sometimes they don’t even do the bite part.”
“The meals and snacks exhaust me. Constantly having to bring snacks everywhere when they are toddlers, and now that they are almost teenagers, they are hungry all the time. It never stops. I’m always at the grocery or planning meals or cooking meals. It’s insanity!”
6. Emotional Pain
“Emotional Pain. The emotional pain of watching your children go through something almost unimaginably tricky, knowing that your best efforts may not be enough to save them. It’s the worry.
The worry that your kid might be having a tough time making friends, being ahead of their classmates, behind their classmates, oh, you lost your temper, is that permanent damage? Is that a normal emotional reaction for pre-teens or the nascent signs of mental illness? Dude, I hate pre-teen boys and girls, but I need to get along with them for the sake of my daughter/son, etc., etc, etc.”
“I’ve had people tell me that seeing their kids get divorced was more painful for them than their divorces were, even if no children were involved, especially if they liked their child’s soon-to-be ex.”
7. No Free Time
“No/little free time. I’m feeling this. I’m an introvert; I need my time to recharge. And I have a five-month-old baby that needs me at every moment of the day.
I can sometimes get away with leaving him alone during the last hour of his afternoon nap (with the baby monitor on, as he’s started rolling, and it frightens me), but that’s it. He always needs his mama and throws a fit for anyone else. He won’t even eat or sleep when his grandma takes care of him. I foresee his first month of nursery school being very unpleasant.”
8. They’re Always There
“Relentlessness. Kids don’t stop; they don’t go away; they always need to be fed, cleaned, and entertained. They are always there, and for 21 years+, they are always there. Every single day, every single hour. Kids are always there.”
9. Explaining Death
“Right now, for me…explaining the concept of death to my 3 1/2y old”.
“My MIL is having their senior dog put down this week, and we have to gently explain that kiddo is going to go to Grandma’s this week, and the dog who has been there her whole life will be gone & Grandma is going to be sad. Also, the constant worry and anxiety. That eats you alive.”
10. Guilt
“The guilt when you must stand up to your kids and discipline them. It’s never fun to see them sad.”
“Stepping back and letting them fail. While challenging, it is an essential part of their development.”
11. Sleep Deprivation
“The sleep deprivation.”
“I’m serious; it wrecked me. I was already suffering from postpartum depression and was both breastfeeding and dealing with an unhelpful partner. I didn’t sleep much until the baby was about a year old. Cognitively and emotionally, it destroyed me. I made stupid mistakes at work and as a parent. I didn’t trust or like myself — or the baby.”
“That’s the number one reason he’s an only child. I can’t handle the lack of sleep.”
12. Regret Yelling At Them
“The worst part of being a parent is realizing that you’ll never be perfect for them. You’re only human yourself. You’re weak and tired; you’re fallible, just like them. And as such, you’ll do/not do something, and you’ll blow it out of proportion and crucify yourself, and you forget that you’re just still human too.
And at that moment, in that lapse in judgment, you’ll regret yelling at them, you’ll wish you played with them a little bit better, you’ll regret getting frustrated and impatient, and you’ll regret criticizing them. You’ll miss them, wherever they are, whoever old they are.”
13. It’s Thankless Drudgery
“Endless, thankless drudgery. The house is always disgusting. Everything you cook is garbage. Nothing is ever done, and everything you do is wrong. Ongoing expenses. Neverending judgment from total strangers about what a bad parent you are.”
14. Losing Their Child Version
“Being unprepared for losing the child version of them. My son carries the younger “him” inside himself, but to me, that little boy vanished almost overnight when he turned 13.
I love the new older “him,” don’t get me wrong. But I grieve daily for the little one I no longer have access to, the tiny sweet one whose “I love you’s” were uncomplicated and whose hugs seemed limitless.”
15. Fear That Horrible Things Can Happen
“The fact that horrible things can happen to them, and it will ultimately be your fault.
Nuclear war, climate crisis, pandemic. Once they’re here, they’re in this world you brought them into for the long haul. And, it’s not just world-wide existential threats but any kind of pain or illness. You hear about things in the news, people suffering some random painful death of this or that cause. Or getting into some debilitating accident.
Whatever horrible thing you hear about. That’s within the realm of human experience; that’s something your kid could go through.”
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