Nobody has the right to feel entitled to know someone else’s medical history!
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for asking personal questions when a woman demanded information on my condition?”. We need your opinion on the matter!
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster (OP) (49F) was at a state fair yesterday, and this woman near OP came over and demanded information about OP’s medical condition.
OP’S PARALYSIS
OP is paralyzed from her chest down. She uses a power wheelchair and has a service dog.
“I usually don’t mind educating people about paralysis, access issues, and chatting about my dog, but this woman was rude, abrasive, and demanding. She acted like she was entitled to my medical history”, says OP.
WOMAN’S INSANE DEMANDS
The woman didn’t even ask politely. She just demanded to know how it happened, the results, and if OP’s tried X, Y, and Z treatments.
“She even wanted to know about my intimate love life! Who asks this stuff to a stranger, especially someone eating delicious fair food at the table area? I just stared at her in shock as my delicious deep-fried BBQ got cold”, says OP.
OP’S COMEBACK
So she (OP) smiled as politely as she could manage, and this is where she may have been the jerk.
“I started to ask her about her last gynecologist visit. Were the stirrups too high? Did she have to do that awkward shimmy/scoot down the table if the speculum was cold or if the pap smear hurt, as usual? If she felt entitled to my answers, I should be entitled to her answers, right?” says OP.
WOMAN FLIPPED OUT
Well, the woman threw an absolute fit. She started screaming and yelling that OP was gross and a pervert and on and on and on. Her group tried to calm her down, and one told OP she should’ve just been polite and answered her questions.
WHAT NEXT?
“As far as I could tell, this woman wasn’t impaired. She didn’t have a carer or minder looking after her. She was with a group of friends and had been carrying on normally with them until she saw me”, says OP.
MORE DRAMA
OP told the group that if the lady wanted OP’s personal and private medical information, then she should trade information for information. Two people called OP a jerk when they left, trying to calm down the nearly “hysterical” woman.
“She was still screaming and shouting how I was a pervert/cruel/mean. People were staring at me, and I hated it”, says OP.
IS OP THE JERK?
At the time, OP felt good for standing up for herself.
“So to speak. I talked to friends last night, and they said I was a jerk. I could’ve politely told her I wasn’t going to tell her. I tried that when she came over and demanded answers, not even asking for them. So, I’m asking here. Am I the jerk for not divulging my medical information and asking her about hers?” asks OP
YOU ARE A HERO
“Not the jerk. You are my hero! I love your response. In all seriousness, you owe no one any information about your life. If someone wants to know about you or your life, they can ask respectfully.
If they can’t, well, they deserve what they get. Let’s face it: jerks call others jerks when they care about their behavior. It’s the pot calling the kettle black.”
IT WAS THE ONLY WAY OUT
“Not the jerk. That woman would have kept harping on it if you had politely declined to answer. It was the only way to shut her down. She has some issues that may be undiagnosed. I’m proud of you for sticking up for yourself.”
YOU DID NOTHING WRONG
“Not the jerk. What the hell was her issue? How can your friends sit there and think it’s appropriate for her to drill you about your health? If she had some issue, you should have been told. You did nothing wrong.”
WHAT AN AMAZING COMEBACK
“Not the jerk. What an amazing comeback! A lot of people have less spine than you have, broken or not, and I would’ve cheered you on if anyone in my entourage would’ve treated you the way that women did. Anyone telling you otherwise is honestly not worth listening to!”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.