Being single can be fun and liberating, but prolonged singleness can be challenging and painful. Some people who have been single for a long time may be struggling with underlying issues.
A user asked the forum, “You have a friend who can’t figure out why they’re single, but you KNOW why. What’s the reason?”. This is what people have to say.
SELF-OBSESSED
“My friend owns a flat, he’s good looking, active in the gym and cycles a lot, knows how to cook, and keeps his flat spotless; so why is he single? He is So Self-Obsessed!
Now we have been friends for years, and I tend to shut him down very quickly, but watching him chatting up women is literally him chatting and her not getting a word in.”
LACK OF EFFORTS
“Lack of effort. His self-confidence is so low that he’s never tried to get a girlfriend before and has struggled to break out of that. My friends and I try to build him up, but he never seems to try. By this point, he’s built up a bit of a “woe is me” attitude around dating.
It’s sad and frustrating to watch.”
SHE IS TOXIC
“Because she is toxic.
She doesn’t want to work on herself at all and yet expects a man with the looks of Chris Evans or Jason Mamoa and the character of the Pope.”
PROPOSING TOO EARLY
“I have a friend who couldn’t find a woman. It’s because he’s way too intense, way too early. Like “show up with a dozen roses on the second date” intense. It’s kind of sad.”
OBESITY
“He’s very big. He insists on finding a girl he’s attracted to but doesn’t recognize that his morbid obesity is a turn-off.”
NOT PUTTING EFFORTS
“He’s single because he does not put in the effort to converse with women. I know this because I’ve read the messages he’s sent to them on dating apps, and he was very bland and never asked them anything. I’ve told him to step up the effort, and he hasn’t. He’s still single years later!!”
NOT HANGING OUT
“He doesn’t go anywhere where he could meet them.”
NOT GETTING INTO DEEP CONVERSATIONS
“My best friend is a male, and it’s his lack of depth in conversations with women. I’ve set up his dating accounts and even set up dates. It’s not that women don’t find him attractive. But they stop talking to him once they realize he isn’t engaging in anything, and I’ve tried to tell him this.
For example, my friend’s cat just had kittens. My male friend likes this other friend and was looking for a cat because he died. I said, “Why don’t you text her and ask her about the cats? He legit cold messaged her, “So, do you like cats?”
So not surprisingly, she never replied. There’s no hope for him…. another time with a different girl, we were all getting drinks before a movie, and instead of talking to her when she wanted to see what he was up to, and she was interested, he pulled out his phone to talk about all the money he was losing on sports betting and began betting right there.
It was like a car accident I couldn’t look away from. Last time, we all went up to a cabin, and this girl was offering him shots and kept touching his shoulder and asking him where he was sleeping for the night. He didn’t get the hint….got so drunk he cried to her and I for an hour about his awful ex and went to play darts in the corner.
She was annoyed and went to bed. I tried telling him the next morning, and he was like ooh no… rip buddy one day.”
“One of my best friends is constantly complaining about being single. She is possibly the most beautiful woman I know, but she has unrealistic standards for a relationship. She goes on plenty of dates and has so many interested guys, but it’s always something.
She wants a man that’s handsome, at least 6 feet tall, makes at least 80k, will let her be a housewife, is willing to be a stepdad to her kids, and so many other things. Meanwhile, she brings nothing to the table but her beauty, good but not remarkable housekeeping, and a ton of baggage.”
NOT WELL GROOMED
“Unfortunately, it’s because she’s tall, on the heavy side, not well groomed, and overall just not a person who stands out among the crowd. It’s sad that some people just aren’t what some would call “special” in their eyes.”
SEEING WOMEN AS A GODDESSES
“Oooh yeah, I have a few. The worst is a “nice guy,” I know.
He’s just incapable of seeing women as people. He either sees them as goddesses that he hoists onto a podium, or he sees them as loose women not worthy of his time. Both are highly problematic and drove his one and only girlfriend away after like six months.”
“One of my closest friends: she is beautiful, hard-working, and funny, but her problem is that she is very specific on what she wants and wants to save herself for marriage. I respect that completely, but that REALLY narrows down the pool since we are 30yo. She’s felt pressured/used in the past, so it makes her a bit cynical too. Wish I could help but hope she finds her unicorn one day.”
BLAMING OTHERS
“He doesn’t know the words “I disagree.” He only knows “you’re wrong, and here’s why.”
Then he gets upset when people find him arrogant, confrontational, hard to talk to.”
ZERO CONFIDENCE
“Zero confidence. He’s saying things like, “No one loves me; I wish I could have a girl; I’m so lonely.” Moping about not having a girlfriend will never get you a girlfriend (at least, not a good one).”
NOT GIVING TIME FOR A RELATIONSHIP
“He never makes time for the relationship. He doesn’t believe that he is a workaholic and needs to go to therapy about this whole “Need to be productive 100% of the time” mindset. It’s ruined a few chances already and is interfering with other aspects of his life.”
LACK OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
“Lack of emotional intelligence and skewed view of women.”
HE IS IN DEBT
“He is way too old to be living at home, doesn’t have a career or a full-time job, has debt, among some other things that you can imagine. He is a train wreck!!”
MENTAL DISORDERS
“Mental disorders. They think they’re ‘normal,’ but they’re awkward.”
OVER-SHARING THE LIFE PROBLEMS
“He talks more than he listens. He’s a genuine guy, but he over-shares about his life problems constantly.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.