Phone calls can be a great way to stay in touch with loved ones, but they can also be a breeding ground for conflict. When you’re not face-to-face, it can be easier to misinterpret each other’s words and intentions. This can lead to misunderstandings, arguments, and even resentment.

A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for yelling at my wife after she blew up my phone with calls because of a fire?”. Read the entire story to know more.

BACKSTORY

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The original poster (OP) works in a place where they are not allowed to have personal electronics on them at all. No phones, no smartwatches, no pagers.

HIS WIFE KNOWS

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He has been working there for about six months, so his wife knows this and understands that she should not try to contact him by his cell at work because phones are dropped off in their lockers, and he typically has a phone on the “Do Not Disturb” mode.

Before this incident, his phone has never gone off in the locker before.

THE BIG FIRE

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OP says that recently there was a pretty big fire at a secondary worksite that he does work at occasionally, but that day he was working at the main building.

He says that the local news covered the fire before he found out about it because, again, there are no electronics, plus the work they do isolates them a bit, so news travels pretty slowly.

He says that there were a few casualties, a lot of seriously injured folk.

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?

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It turns out that his wife had been watching the news from home and started freaking out, he guessed.

She called him 20 times, which (and he did not know was possible) overrode his DND, and his phone was ringing for a while in his locker.

WHAT HAPPENED TO OP?

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He says that he was in the middle of his shift and got called into his manager’s office and was chewed out (and written up) for his phone making so much noise.

They told him to take care of whatever made his phone go off before he went back to work.

HOW DID OP FEEL?

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OP says that when he saw those 20 missed calls from his wife, he was seriously angry.

He says that she knows not to try to contact him directly, and a citation hurt his chances of getting a raise or promotion.

WHAT DID OP DO NEXT?

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He called her back, and she was sobbing and asking him if he was okay.

He said he was okay and asked what was wrong with her to call him so many times.

HOW DID OP’S WIFE REACT?

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She was still crying and started talking about the fire. After that, he started half-yelling at her about why it was dumb of her to call him.

When he got home, she was super upset with him.

WHAT DID OP DO NOW?

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He apologized for yelling, but she refused to talk.

OP says that she’s been very chilly the past few days and sleeping in our daughter’s room.

He also says that he knows it was not the best decision to yell at her, but he still thinks that his anger was justified because she knows he doesn’t work in the secondary worksite very often.

Also, she knows that he can’t be contacted directly, and she could have just called the office. He added that 20 calls are absolutely *insane*.

OP asks if he is a jerk.

YOU SHOULD BE MAD AT YOUR BOSS

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“You are a jerk. She didn’t know if you could have been one of those casualties or not. You should be mad at your boss, not her.

She cared enough to try to reach you, but you react to that with anger.”

SHE WAS TERRIFIED

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“She wasn’t blowing up your phone for fun; she was terrified!

Your boss is a jerk; you’re a jerk, but your wife? She’s just a woman who was justifiably panicked about your safety.

Apologize profusely.”

SHE WAS STRESSED

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“Yes. You are a jerk, and so is your employer.

If something happens to your wife or daughter, how would they reach you? Would you make your little scene because you got called about it too?

She was stressed and crying, and she panicked for a good time, but no, instead of reassuring her, you took your frustration out on her and thought a half-felt sorry would change something.

She’s right to be angry, she cares about your safety, and she might feel like you don’t care about hers now.”

YOUR WORKPLACE IS TOXIC

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“Actually, your workplace is toxic here. So, your phone was ringing in a locker. Big deal.

As for your wife, she needed to be reassured you were okay. She could have handled it differently, but in her panic of thinking you’d been hurt, I suspect she was not thinking clearly.

Forgive her and apologize for yelling at her and not thinking about how this affected her. Work out how she will handle getting information if another such incident should occur.”

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