Saying something mean can never be justified or can it be?
A user asked, Am I wrong for saying it’s easy to be a perfect mom when you don’t have kids to someone infertile?
The Original Poster (OP) (28F) has a 2-year-old son. OP’s brother, “Tommy” (25M), has been dating “Giana” (22F) for a few months now.
Giana Is Judgmental
OP says, “She’s a little judgmental, not of me mainly, but in general. She babysits other children and constantly judges the parents. She says she’d never let her kids act the way the kids do. Sometimes it makes sense, and I agree. She claims that her future kids will never, ever throw a tantrum.
They’ll accept no the first time, the only time. I’ve told her good luck with that when it comes to toddlers. My son is learning no and has appropriate consequences for tantrums, but he’s learning. It’ll happen.”
Giana Is Infertile
It’s also important to note that Gia is infertile. She can’t have kids without medical intervention or adoption.
OP’s Son Had A Melt Down
Saturday night, they went out for OP’s dad’s birthday dinner. OP messed up and didn’t prepare her toddler well enough. He got overstimulated and began melting down.
OP Calmed Him Down
OP quickly took him out of the restaurant to calm him down before he could cause a scene. It took 5 minutes, and they returned; he got food and was all good. Giana started, “my future kids will NEVER act like that in a restaurant”. I ignored her.
OP’s Son Wandered Off
The next day, OP, Tommy, their parents, OP’s son, and Giana went to the mall for an event they were having. OP’s son was playing in a structure, and she had her eyes on him. OP’s mom asked her a question, and she turned to answer her. When she turned back, he was gone.
Panic set in, and OP, OP’s parents, Tommy, and some people nearby, began helping me look. It only took a few minutes to find him, and he was perfectly fine; he had seen a pretzel cart and wandered off.
OP Was Worked Up
OP says, “I was still pretty worked up, holding onto him for dear life. He had never wandered off before. My mom reassured me, saying it happened to her with both of us kids. Then I hear Giana, “why weren’t you watching him?” I tried ignoring her. Then she said, “I would’ve never let him wander off”.
I was already so worked up and upset I snapped. I said “it’s easy being a perfect parent when you don’t have kids. Come back to me when you do.” Giana got visibly upset. She then made Tommy take her home.”
Tommy and Giana Think She Was Insensitive
Tommy and Giana have both texted OP telling me how insensitive that is since she can’t have kids. To OP, she talks about having kids all the time, so why is it different for me to say that? OP wants to know if she is a jerk.
You Weren’t Referring To Her Infertility
“Not a jerk. You weren’t referring to her inability to have biological children. You were referring to her inability to keep her yap shut.
Yeah, it’s pretty easy to say you’d never do something when you don’t have kids. Kids aren’t accessories; they’re individual human beings who can and will react differently.”
She Doesn’t Have A Free Pass To Be A Jerk
“Not wrong – Having fertility issues does not give her a free pass to take shots at other people.
Also – you did not take a shot at her for having fertility issues or suggested that her opinion doesn’t matter because she will struggle to have biological children. You said that since she isn’t currently a parent, she cannot understand the challenges of being a parent and should reserve judgment until she has experienced being a parent. She can be a parent. That journey, when she starts it, may be more difficult for her.”
Parenting Comments Are NOT Welcome
“She’s crazzzzzzzy pants to think her kids will be perfect.
So..admit that what you said wasn’t the best thing and then address the bigger issue of her parenting comments. Because, really.”
She Thinks She Is An Expert Without Experience
“You are not a jerk, but Giana sure does think she’s an expert on something she has no experience with! And no, I don’t count babysitting as the same experience as having your children 24/7. You didn’t insult her ability to have kids, and if she really wants children, I assume she hasn’t ruled out adoption. I would have snapped, too and she sounds like no fun to be around.”
More From Mrs Daaku Studio:
We wanted to know what are the European traits that Americans find strange.
10 Endangered Jobs That May NOT Be Around Much Longer
Some professions are becoming obsolete as technology, and societal shifts continue to shape the workforce. We bave listed some jobs that don’t see the light in the coming years.
10 Endangered Jobs That May Not Be Around Much Longer
Kill It: 10 Frugal Things That You’re Doing, But Aren’t Worth it ANYMORE!
While being frugal is a wise financial practice, not all frugal habits appeal to everyone. Some may find certain practices tedious, uncomfortable, or just not worth it anymore.
11 Most Hated or Useless Jobs That People Wish They Could Eliminate From Society
The modern job market is diverse, and each profession has a unique value. However, specific jobs may be considered useless, providing little benefit to society.
Don’t Get Duped: 10 Biggest Rip-Offs That You Are Continuously Buying
As consumers, we often fall prey to clever marketing tactics and gimmicks that convince us to buy overpriced products or services that don’t live up to expectations.
This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.