A user asked on a popular forum, Am I wrong for telling my daughter it’s okay to use her mother for money?


The Original Poster (OP) used to be married to Judy, who is 36 years old and has a daughter Scarlet who is 13 years old. Judy never wanted kids, but OP did, and he assumed she did too.

When they had Scarlet, Judy completely changed; she wasn’t caring for her, they didn’t bond, and she blamed Scarlet for losing their independence. About a year later, they divorced, and she gave OP everything. It hurt OP that she didn’t even want to see Scarlet once a year.

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She moved to Seattle months after, started running a business, and got really fit, her cousins told OP that she even got laser surgery to remove her stretch marks.

Since then, Judy moved to LA and divided her time between there, London, Mumbai, and NYC. She became a reasonably famous influencer and socialite. OP checked her often, and she had been at parties with celebrities worldwide and indeed seemed happy.

To her credit, every time her financial situation changed, she would come back and get their child support agreement altered to give more to Scarlet. Every time she’d come, she would spend time with Scarlet. She kept it the same even though OP’s new wife made a lot more money, and they don’t need it.

Read: He Refused Her Stay-At-Home Wife Any Money To Help Her Family And Friends. We Think He Is Right.


What Happened Next?

About three years ago, she started calling more to talk to Scarlet. She would also come over more; every spring break, she came for those two weeks. She phoned every night unless she was in London, Mumbai, or NYC – in which case she used to send a text.

On New Year’s, she was at some celebrity’s party but took the time to phone. OP doesn’t believe that this compensates for anything, but she has been a constant presence in Scarlet’s life.

They found out that Judy’s grandfather was very ill and he was going to pass away within a month, maybe early March at best. So, she was going to India for spring break for his funeral and requested to take Scarlet with her. OP and his new wife were okay with that. However, Scarlet got really upset about spending two weeks in India.

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OP pointed out her mom would take her to all the lovely places; she’ll get to see great things and meet that part of her family. But she said that it was not fair. So, OP pointed out that, at the very least, she can get whatever she wants out of her mom in those two weeks.

OP’s wife overheard and said OP was a jerk for telling Scarlet that it was all right for her to use her mom for cash since she has barely been in her life. OP pointed out that he didn’t say that, but they argued, and since then, OP realized what OP said did amount to that.  OP wants to know if he is being a jerk

Was OP correct to tell Scarlet that she can get whatever she wants from her mom, at the least? Was it inappropriate for OP’s wife to call OP a jerk? How would you have reacted in this situation?

This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.

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