A user asked, Am I wrong for taking care of my daughter for two weeks while my wife is away? We want to hear from you.
Backstory
The Original Poster’s (OP) wife returned to her mother’s home country to return her mom’s ashes. Her brother is still living there.
She went there for two whole weeks; the first few days were to take care of the ashes and other misc items that were left. For the rest of the week and a half, she was out visiting old college/high school friends.
What Was OP Doing?
OP says, “I am home taking care of our 9-year-old daughter. It was tough, but I did not complain at all about it. My wife went when my daughter had a state exam, and I was the one who worked with her daily to get her prepared for the exam. Again no complaints.
He Told Her What’s Going On
During the last week, I was not feeling well. A bad cough, fatigue, headache, migraine, etc. Not sure what was going on, but I wasn’t all that well. When we Facetime, she asked me what was happening, and I told her. Again wasn’t complaining or asking her to come back.”
What Happened When She Came Back?
Fast forward to this Sunday night. OP’s wife comes back and lands, and the first thing she does after her plane lands are not “I’m back, or I miss you guys.” She messages OP complaining they (OP and their daughter) missed the online language class.
He Agreed
OP agreed and said that he had forgotten between dinner and everything that was happening.
It just escaped his mind. He told her it was not intentional. OP says, “Nope, my wife was just ripping me in text messages. She slammed for after two weeks for all the work that I did, the one tiny mistake I made. Am I the jerk here?”
Want A Pat On The Back?
“You are a jerk. Are you trying to get a pat on the back for parenting for two whole weeks? If your kid is 9, you shouldn’t be trying to get a reward for minimum effort while your wife is grieving in a different country. I call BS on you not calling to complain and beg her to come home.”
You Are Petty
“She could have been more sensitive about it, but OP did two weeks of full parenting, which some people do for twenty years straight: he also felt the need to specify that his wife also met some friends while she was away as if to say that she was on some vacation – which sounds a bit petty.”
You Are Passive Aggressive
“People make assumptions based on reading between the lines. What others have been assuming seems entirely plausible, if not wholly probable. He has been ensuring we knew he wasn’t complaining about a thing he shouldn’t have been complaining about anyway. That’s passive-aggressive. He’s ensuring we know his wife was away dealing with something when her brother was still in the home country and could have dealt with it. Passive aggressive.
He’s making sure we know that after all of the utterly essential stuff was dealt with, his wife dared to spend time with her childhood friends while he, the long-suffering husband, stayed home, actually parenting, and didn’t complain about it…guess what…passive aggressive.
Nothing he is saying here is that of a present all-the-time parent who is used to dealing with their child. Not one thing.”
The Wife Went A Little Overboard
“I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt. I think he did learn his wife does a lot and that it is not easy. I don’t think she should have returned with guns blazing. I get the feeling with the way he worded things, he is not native English speaking either. Not wrong, and his wife went overboard a little.”
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