A netizen recently asked, Am I a jerk for asking my boyfriend to scuba dive again after he almost had a panic attack? Read on to know what happened.
Backstory:
The Original Poster (OP) (22F) and her boyfriend Josh (22M) booked themselves in to do a scuba course in Tanzania. They started it a few days ago.
What Happened There
It involves going through scuba theory where they were tested and passed and the instructors brought them to the beach to give it a go today.
What Happened When OP’s Boyfriend Got Under Water?
OP really enjoyed it. Her boyfriend, less so. They’re both strong swimmers which is why they decided to try it. However, once OP’s boyfriend got under the water, he started to panic. He immediately surfaced and said he felt like a panic attack was coming on and wanted to leave.
What Happened Next
He wanted to get out of the gear and sit on the beach to wait for them but OP gently persuaded him to give it another go because she knew he would regret it later if he didn’t at least try and waste all the money he spent.
He did give it another go but struggled and sat on the beach so the rest of them went back out and had a great time.
When OP Joined Him Afterwards
OP joined him after and explained how much fun it was and that they saw some fish. He was really happy for OP so she asked him again if he wants to give it another go and he just shut her down.
He said that OP asking before made him feel like he couldn’t say no and like he didn’t give it a proper go.
What Did OP Say
OP argued that he didn’t, he didn’t even make it out into deeper water to put the things they learned to use. He maintains that he didn’t want to have a panic attack in the deeper water and put them in danger and it’s not OP’s place to say whether he tried properly or not because he thinks he did.
OP’s Stance
“Was I a jerk? I asked out of a good place because he looked so excited about the fish. I also don’t think asking him to try again was a big deal because he’s done this with other similar adventure activities we’ve tried and always laments he regrets not fully committing to the activity.”, Says OP.
People DROWN During A Panic Attack
“You’re the jerk. It doesn’t matter what other activities he regrets not fully committing to, we’re talking about water. Deep water.
I had a panic attack while snorkeling on my honeymoon. My husband and our guide got me out of the water as fast as they could and no one tried encouraging me to give it another go because money would be wasted. People DROWN during a panic attack.”
Do You Even Know What A Panic Attack Is?
“Do you even know what a panic attack is? It’s not just a case of nerves. You can be taught all the theories in the world, but that all goes out the window when you start to panic and feel like you’re trapped.
My aunt had a panic attack while scuba diving and couldn’t surface, by the time they got her to the surface she had to be resuscitated and we’re very lucky she’s still alive. Your advice could have killed your boyfriend and you don’t even seem to recognise that, you seem to think he’s being difficult on purpose and just needs to get over it.”
He Tried It And Didn’t Like It
“He tried it and didn’t like it. There was no reason for you to try to talk him into doing it again, especially when it is something that could jeopardize his safety. But you wanted to do it so he should too. Doesn’t always work that way. You disrespected him in front of a bunch of other people.”
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This article originally appeared on Mrs. Daaku Studio.