A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for hiding food from my boyfriend?”. Lets see what happened here.
BACKSTORY
The original poster, OP (43F), and her boyfriend (44M) have lived together for years. They don’t have kids. They were very happy and had good communication. She says that there is one issue that drives her nuts.
They use a joint account to buy food for themselves, usually shopping together a few times a month and then one of them picking up things here and there.
She cooks dinner almost every night, and they don’t eat a ton of junk, but occasionally she will buy things they both love for a weekend or just indulge here and there.
WHAT IS THE ISSUE?
The issue is that she goes to bed on the early side, and his boyfriend stays up late- and goes full ham on any junk food they have around on any given night of the week.
OP says that an entire family-size bag of chips and the entire container of queso- gone in one sitting that she was saving for Friday margaritas.
She went to make them root beer floats with the quart of ice cream and 2 liters of soda, and they were gone from shopping two days prior.
WHAT IS OP’S COMPLAIN
She complains that he doesn’t ever replace things; he just gives her a sheepish smile when she asks where the rest of something is, knowing that he ate it all.
WHAT DID OP DO?
So the previous night, after cleaning up the kitchen from dinner, she put all the candy and chips and anything shelf stable in a different place where he wouldn’t find them.
She says that he went ballistic after she went to bed and that all the “good” food was gone (even though she had just cooked a nice dinner).
WHAT IS OP’S REPLY?
She told him, “Welcome to my world,” as this is constantly happening when she goes to have anything that’s been purchased!
WHAT DID OP’S BOYFRIEND SAY?
OP’s boyfriend said that she was treating him like a child, and she said he was acting like one.
WHAT DOES OP THINK?
She doesn’t care that he indulges, but to finish off every bit of something that’s been bought for them both to enjoy is getting old.
She says that it’s not a weight thing or a money thing- she just wants him to leave maybe one portion for her, or maybe they can enjoy it together!
WHAT DID SHE TELL HER BOYFRIEND?
So until he can show some willpower, she told him that she wouldn’t be keeping any junk food around for him to gorge on unless it’s something he’s purchased from his own account.
Part of her thinks this is just funny, which is why she thinks she might be a jerk- but she just thinks he needs to figure out how to share, figure out how not to consume the entire lot in one sitting, or figure out how to buy his own treats.
HE HAS NO WILLPOWER
“Not a jerk – He has NO willpower when it comes to junk food.”
IT MUST BE SOLVED EASILY
“OP points out early on that they are happy, and this is one issue, but this is clearly something that will easily escalate.
This should have ended completely with, “Hey, please don’t eat this food.”. The husband’s “sheepish smile” shows that he knows good and well that his selfish behavior is bothering OP, and he truly just doesn’t care.
His reaction was to go “ballistic.” OP can likely expect him to retaliate in one way or another, and suddenly this isn’t a small issue anymore.”
THIS IS DISRESPECTFUL
“Not a jerk.: This is a post I’d expect about a 20-something, not a 40-something grown man.
If he wants to pig out late at night, then he needs to use his own funds to buy whatever makes him happy. The fact he takes everything and leaves absolutely nothing for you is disrespectful.
He might have an eating disorder where he has to finish what he starts (that’s for a doctor to decide), but to not replace the food he’s eating is not okay.”
IT CAN BE SOLVED EASILY
“Not a jerk. But it seems like a simple solution would be that you both buy your own junk food from your personal accounts. That way, you both only eat what you’ve personally bought.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.