It is a pleasure to give something expensive to our friends during their special occasions, but what if it turns out that they will never use it due to some misfortunes?
A user took an forum and asked Am I wrong to ask our friend to return a baby shower gift after a miscarriage?
Backstory
The original poster’s ( OP’s) husband had a long-term friend named Jen. Jen and OP were not too close, but they are friendly if they meet in person.
What Did Jen Do
Jen invited OP and her husband to her first baby shower. OP’s husband brought an expensive gift for her first pregnancy that cost them around $200-$300.
OP was happy about it as the gift would be useful for her. She was also excited to see Jen growing her family with his boyfriend ( now husband )
What’s next?
After a few years, Jen and her husband have grown so much and are earning 6 figures. Surprisingly, Jen is now pregnant with her second baby.
It is shocking!
Jen not only announced the pregnancy earlier, but she also sent her baby shower registry with an announcement text listed with expensive gifts. It was a complete shock for the OP.
OP is the kind of person who doesn’t announce her pregnancy until 20 weeks, as she knows anything might happen.
What Happened Next
Jen not only announced the pregnancy way earlier but also asked for gifts while she was still in the first trimester. OP felt it was strange as she might have all the items she bought for her first kid that she could use for the second child.
Also, she felt that most people wouldn’t do full-blown baby showers or registries for their second pregnancies.
That expensive gift!
Even though the OP is shocked about Jen organizing a baby shower for her second pregnancy, she left the decision to buy a gift for her husband.
Still, her husband brought a gift for Jen worth $400, and OP was okay with it. Unexpectedly, Jen had a terrible miscarriage after a few weeks.
Hearing the news, OP was disheartened. It turns out that Jen will not be able to become pregnant again. Even though Jen was not a close friend of OP, the news hurt her so much.
What’s next?
It has been a few months since Jen had a miscarriage. OP and her husband were concerned about the expensive gift they offered, which was useless to Jen as she couldn’t use the gift for the elder child.
Even though OP and her husband were decently high earners, OP felt that $ 400 was still a lot of money.
What Did OP Think
When OP thought of asking about the gift to Jen, OP felt it would add a chore to her grief. But she also feels that Jen can use it for a few years, then the money spent would be worth it.
OP thought of asking for the gift from Jen and giving it to someone who can use it or getting back the money even if it is too late.
While thinking about it, she felt awful and felt it is a sensitive subject. So, she asked for advice in the forum. In the end, OP added that she and her husband will not pressure Jen if she is not ready to discuss it.
It Was A Gift
“You are a jerk. it was a gift. It shouldn’t come with terms and conditions. You gave it away. It’s gone”
This is Sick
“You are a jerk for even considering asking for a GIFT back. You will be a jerk if you went through with this
This makes me sick”
Shouldn’t Buy Gifts So Early
“I think you will be a jerk. It was a mistake to buy a gift that early (I didn’t get if she threw a shower or just sent the registry though). They still may try to have kids you don’t know. It would be a low blow to ask to be reimbursed.
Maybe if you have them over dinner, and in the conversation they say they won’t have anymore babies, you can ask them what they’re gonna do with the gifs they received. But asking them straight would be very insensitive IMO.”
What Do You Think
What is your viewpoint in this scenario? Should OP discuss it with Jen or let it go? Do comment below.
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