The father-daughter relationship is one of the most special bonds in the world, but it can also be fragile. One wrong move can damage it irreparably.

A user took to the forum and asked, “Am I wrong for telling my daughter she was being a brat after she cried about blowing out her birthday candles?”. Read the complete story to know who is wrong here.


Image Credits: AS photo family, Shutterstock

The Original Poster (OP) has four kids aged 23, 20, 16, and 13. The oldest one is Zara.

They Don’t Do Big Parties

kids party
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They don’t usually do big parties in their family after kids attain double digits, but Zara had been having a bit of a difficult time, so they decided to throw her a surprise party.

It Was A Family Party

18. watching movie with kids
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It was a big family party, and Zara was enjoying it. Then the cake was brought out; OP had a lot of young nieces and nephews, so naturally, they wanted to stand up with Zara, and she had no issue. 

When she went to blow out the candles, OP’s 5-year-old niece blew most of them out before her.

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What Happened Next?

birthday girl confused
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Everyone laughed it off. OP’s youngest had put 23 candles on the cake, and there were still a few lit, so OP told Zara to blow those out. She did, but she looked angry and started crying. She then walked off.

OP’s Sister Got Upset

Two pretty little girls learning to skateboard on beautiful summer day in a park. Children enjoying skateboarding ride outdoors.
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After that, it got pretty awkward, and OP’s sister got upset and embarrassed. OP’s sister said that her daughter is a kid and didn’t mean to do that, and she didn’t think Zara would act like that. OP calmed her down and said that it was not their fault.

OP Told Zara

mother in law upset daughter
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OP told Zara that she was being a selfish brat, making a scene, and that she was too old to get mad about birthday candles. Zara was still upset, and OP’s other kids told him he wasn’t being fair to Zara.

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The Edits That Make It Worse 

father daughter fight
Image Credit: Oleg Golovnev, Shutterstock.

The edits make it almost impossible to believe. Zara actually grieving her friend who passed away (who was also someone Zara was going to marry). They decided to throw a party to make her feel better.

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Your Sister Is Acting

I'm tired of listening to you. Family conflict between father and daughter. daughter sits right in front of the camera and looks displeased.
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“She didn’t think Zara would act like this” – So she knew her daughter was going to blow out the candles.”

It’s Too Much

dad and daughter
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“Also her daughter “didn’t mean to do it.” Yes, she did. She meant to blow out someone else’s candles; it wasn’t an accident she inhaled, then exhaled at full volume toward a flaming dessert. And five is old enough to know if it isn’t your birthday/cake, then you don’t blow out the candles. The Aunt knew what her daughter would do.

It must be exhausting to live in a family where even on your birthday, your feelings aren’t important, and they aren’t really celebrating you…because I’m betting this isn’t the first time the eldest was dismissed. (Wanna bet she’s always had to set aside her feelings, first for her younger siblings, now for the nieces and nephews.)”

Zara Is Going Through A Lot

Problems between generations concept. Teen closed his ears with his hands while her mom yells at her.
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“Just want to point out how stifling it must be to not be able to emote- sounds like Zara was simply upset and was called a brat for it….after a hard year. You know what they say- who needs enemies when your family will destroy you”

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