He didn’t have any job to do at his sister-in-law’s wedding, so he didn’t see a reason to take a day off. But this upset his wife. Who do you think is correct? Let’s find out.
A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for not taking the whole day off for SIL’s wedding because she didn’t make me a part of it?”
BACKSTORY
The original poster’s (OP) wife’s sister (SIL) is getting married on a Saturday this summer. He has a shaky relationship with SIL, as she “jokes” about him during family events.
HOW DID OP FEEL?
He says that humor is one thing, but these always tend to be negative jokes about his character. Because of this, OP has always thought she doesn’t like him.
WHAT DOES OP DO?
He was waiting for her to possibly ask him to play some role in the wedding since his wife is the maid of honor and their only son is the ring bearer.
The couple did not ask him to play a role in any way.
OP INQUIRED ABOUT THE TIME
OP asked when he had to be at the wedding, and they told him noon.
WHAT’S OP’S PERSPECTIVE?
He worked a 12-hour shift on the wedding day, so he decided to just take 6 hours off so he could be there around noon, but he will still have to be up at 0400 the next day for work.
WHAT DID OP’S WIFE DO?
He found out from his wife that SIL and future BIL are extremely upset and have intentionally ignored him since they found out.
OP’S WIFE’S PERSPECTIVE
OP says that they told his wife they expected him to take the entire day off (OP works 12 hours every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday) because they thought of him as a brother and assumed he would just want to be there for the rehearsal, dinner, morning of the wedding, and wedding/reception.
WHAT DID OP FEEL?
OP says that they are not asking him to play a role, especially with his wife and their son having roles, confirming that they don’t like him.
So, he felt no obligation to take the wedding morning off of which he has no part.
WHAT IS OP’S EXPLANATION?
He says that he works 12-hour shifts, and taking one day off really cuts into his available PTO, so this played a factor in his decision as well.
HE IS NOT UPSET
He says that he is not upset about not having a role, and his decision was in no way retaliatory. He also added that it’s not his wedding, so he doesn’t make the calls, so it doesn’t bother him.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
OP’s wife defended him and told SIL how they had always made him feel in conversations they had when all this came up, but he says that neither SIL nor future BIL has tried to talk to him.
OP’S SON
He says that their son will be with his mother the morning of the wedding, and he was bringing their son to the wedding, getting him in his tux, etc.
He added that his decision did not leave his wife responsible for their son and maid of honor duties, that would be horrible.
OP’S CLARIFICATION
OP clarifies that when he said he was “waiting” for a possible role, this was not him hoping for a role. He was waiting to hear a yes or no so he could schedule PTO accordingly.
He added that he does not feel entitled to a role in the wedding whatsoever, and any undertones in the post are most likely just difficulty conveying the story.
Now OP wants to know if this is wrong on his part.
THEY SHOULD NOT EXPECT YOU TO TAKE A DAY OFF
“I don’t think brothers-in-law typically play a part in the wedding unless they are super close with the couple and they should not expect you to be there the entire day without being in the wedding.”
YOU ALREADY ASKED THEM
“Not a jerk. Because you asked what time to be there, and you planned to be there at that time.”
THEIR EXPECTATION IS NOT REASONABLE
“Not a jerk.
For they never ask you to attend the rehearsal and such but expect you to be there. Like, you actually asked them when to be there, and they told you noon on the wedding day, but they somehow expected you to come earlier for extra stuff without asking you?”
More From Mrs Daaku Studio
Thrift stores and goodwill stores are great, but there are many weird instances of people finding things. Read – Goodwill Workers Share 16 “Weirdest” Things They’ve Ever Found, It’s Hilarious!
She Demands Her Sister Stop Wearing Silk Nightgowns. Says It’s Inappropriate. Should She Just Stop Wearing Them?
Sisters can be difficult sometimes, and here is one case for you to judge. Read – She Demands Her Sister Stop Wearing Silk Nightgowns. Says, “It’s Inappropriate.” Should She Just Stop Wearing Them?
Father Corrects Teacher’s Pronunciation of Daughter’s Name, School Accuses Him of Questioning Authority
Schools can act arbitrarily sometimes, and here is a case. Read how this Father Corrects the Teacher’s Pronunciation of Daughter’s Name, School Accuses Him of ‘Questioning Authority’. Does This Make Sense?
He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance and 401K, Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right
He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance and; 401K. Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right. Read more.
Woman Cancels Credit Card After Boyfriend REFUSES to Return It, Is This Financial Abuse?
Woman Cancels Credit Card After Boyfriend REFUSES to Return It. Is This Financial Abuse? We think it is, but we need to hear from you. Read here.
This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.