Always remember actions have consequences, especially when trying to belittle others! It’s important to treat everyone with kindness and respect. If you don’t, you might get the same treatment in return. 

A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for rudely shutting down another woman’s comments about my engagement ring?”. Here’s the full story for you to decide:


Head shot portrait of depressed shocked couple looking out black eyeglasses with wide open eyes mouth isolated on vivid yellow background
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Last month, the Original Poster (OP)(23F) was at her friend’s bachelorette weekend. Their weddings were very close together, and hers was only a couple of weeks before OP. 

“Of the six women who were at the bachelorette weekend, one was single, four of us were engaged, and the sixth was in a long-term relationship,” says OP. 


portrait of the bride crying, sadness, streaks mascara wipes. Natural light
Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

Throughout the weekend, OP intentionally made sure not to comment on her engagement or upcoming wedding, as she wanted the trip to be about the bride! The only exception was when the bride asked OP about her engagement ring. She told her that the ring (which was very simple, with a gold band and 0.25-carat diamond) was actually from OP’s grandmother. 

“She had removed the original diamond but left the ring and its setting, which she gave to my fiancé. He then bought a new diamond and placed it in the setting.”, says OP. 


Image Credits: Marcos Mesa Sam Wordley, Shutterstock

The bride and all the other women there commented on how sweet it was that OP had her grandmother’s ring, except for Brittany. 

She looked at OP’s ring and said it was “far too small for her taste.” She then started talking about how she “would never accept an old, secondhand ring” and that she was “shocked” that OP was willing to wear a “hand me down piece of jewelry.” 


lady crying and upset. sad.
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At first, OP laughed it off and said she was touched that her grandmother had given it to her. But Brittany rolled her eyes and responded, “That’s great for you! But I’ll make sure that my man has to pick out and pay for the ring himself. It represents how much he values me, you know?”


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This rubbed OP the wrong way, and this is where she thinks she might be the jerk. Brittany was the single woman there, so OP didn’t know why she was so hostile about her ring. 

She responded, “Oh, that’s okay! You won’t have to worry about that for a while.” Brittany looked upset and left to get some snacks without returning to the group for a while. 


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Most of the women didn’t seem to think anything of what OP said, but one of them (a close friend of Brittany) pulled OP aside later and said that she shouldn’t have made Brittany feel like “even more of an outsider” with her comment. 

“She thinks I should’ve been more sensitive to her being the only one there who wasn’t in a relationship. So, am I a jerk?” asks OP. 


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“Little Brittany messed around and found out. That will hopefully teach her to watch what she says to people, but I doubt it. I’m sure she has little to no self-awareness.” 


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“Not the jerk. Brittany’s comments were unnecessary and unsolicited, and more importantly, how exactly does she expect someone to react to such snobbish insults? You should not be expected to take it and agree with her.

It also sounds like you initially responded courteously and graciously, and your comment came when she doubled down on her remarks.”


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“Not the jerk. I was given my grandmother’s ring, the sentimental value is so high. I love having history. That woman was rude. There is a reason she’s not received a ring to tell a story about.”


young pretty woman screaming in panic or anger, shocked, terrified or furious, with hands next to head
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“Not the jerk. You matched her energy. She shouldn’t be surprised. There was no reason for her to make those unsolicited comments except to insult. You get what you give.”


Young brunette woman wearing casual blue shirt afraid and terrified with fear expression stop gesture with hands, shouting in shock. panic concept.
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“Not the jerk. Brittany made snarky comments about your rings, your fiance, and your grandmother. She is jealous. She can dish it out but not take it. Don’t give it another thought.” 


hispanic pretty woman open-mouthed and amazed, shocked and astonished with an unbelievable surprise
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“Not the jerk. Brittany should have kept her mouth shut. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything. You just responded with a perfect comeback. It’s the kind I would never come up with on the spot and only think about on the drive home.” 


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