When a bridesmaid wears a revealing dress to a wedding, it can be a sticky situation. The bride may feel disrespected, guests may be uncomfortable, and the bridesmaid may be embarrassed. So what should you do if a bridesmaid shows up to your wedding in a dress that is too revealing?
A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for kicking out my bridesmaid for wearing a revealing dress at my wedding?”. Read on to know what happened and tell us what you think in the comments section!
Backstory
Original Poster, OP (27f) got married to her husband (29m) last week. OP asked her friend from the university Ava (26f) to be a bridesmaid.
OP grew up living with her parents and extended family quite religiously and dressed modestly as her family was very strict and traditional. While OP doesn’t agree with most of their ideas, she does follow them to avoid arguments.
OP’s parents don’t share the same ideas and are less religious and have always supported OP, but do ask her to respect their extended family’s policies on dressing and culture.
A Bit About Ava
Ava is a very passionate feminist and OP knows she wouldn’t agree with some of her family’s policies, which is why before the wedding OP told her to please not say anything at the wedding, and if it upsets her she can always stay closer to their group of friends.
She agreed and said she was coming to support OP.
OP’s Instructions To Her Bridesmaids
OP picked peach as a dress color for all her bridesmaids and told them to pick the style they felt comfortable in, as OP didn’t specify a particular dress or shade of peach and gave them all 4 months’ notice.
OP only asked for the dress to be modest as her wedding would include some of OP’s extended family. Ava said she was getting her dress custom-made and never showed OP a picture as it was still getting made.
On The Wedding Day
At the wedding, Ava comes in wearing a very tight, revealing peach dress.
OP’s Maid Of Honor said she would handle it and kicked her out. Ava has said that the dress was her way of expressing herself. She is not talking to OP anymore, but OP genuinely doesn’t think she is in the wrong.
Some More Context
OP later edited the post and added the following information:
“I called Ava’s dress revealing as she had a tight sleeveless mini dress on. I also wear tight clothing myself similar to what she wore, but I don’t think that is appropriate for a wedding, especially as I requested at my wedding for the sake of my extended family that we wear modest clothing.”
You Ain’t The Jerk
“Not the jerk. Someone else’s wedding is not the time or place to make a statement ‘expressing yourself’.”
She Chose The Wrong Day
“You asked her not to do something, she did it anyway and created a bit of a sideshow on a day that’s supposed to be all about you and your new husband.
I get that she might disagree with your religious extended family. I get that she considers her fashion her way of “expressing herself.” There is a time and a place for that, and that wasn’t one of them. If she couldn’t respect your wishes and your guidance for the event, she shouldn’t have come at all.
And if she really was your friend, she would have realized all of those things.”
Your Wedding, Your Rules
“Your friend knew exactly what she was doing when her excuse was ‘This is my way of expressing myself.’ You asked for modesty. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out what modesty means. Your wedding, your rules. I’m regularly astonished by the number of weddings ruined by selfish jerks like your friend, written about here on the internet.”
This One’s On You!
“You’re the jerk. You gave the bridesmaids free rein over the style, you didn’t ask her to describe it or send pictures, and I bet you didn’t pay for it either. And you’re expecting her to follow a tradition that you don’t agree with, your parents don’t agree with, and your partner and his family don’t agree with.”
You Should’ve Been Clearer
“You’re the jerk. If you didn’t actually want them to pick whatever style they wanted, you should have said so.”
Ava Did You Wrong, Clearly
“In a wedding, the two people marrying are the ones making the rules. Guests are expected to follow them, and bridesmaids and grooms even more! You asked your bridesmaids for a ‘modest’ dress, Ava decided not to listen and tried to make a personal statement during an event that wasn’t hers.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.