What would you do if your spouse failed to do the ONE JOB you relied upon them for after planning an entire vacation from scratch all by yourself?
A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for going on vacation without my husband?”. Read on to know what exactly happened!
Backstory
The Original Poster (29f) and her husband (32m) planned a week-long vacation to New Orleans (in the US). They (but mostly OP) have been planning this for months.
Throwback To March
Back in March, OP told him she would plan most of it, where to go, and what to do. All he had to do was make sure he had the week off and buy the plane tickets. OP spent the last few months researching what to do.
“I booked the hotel room, made reservations at places we wanted to try, and made a list of all the sites I wanted to see.”, says OP.
What Would OP Do Every Few Weeks?
Every few weeks, OP would check in with her husband to see if he had asked off and bought the tickets yet, he would say he was waiting for the plane ticket prices to go down.
Three weeks ago, OP reminded him again and he said he had gotten off work for the day but had forgotten to get the tickets. He looked online and the tickets were close to $1500/ticket. He said he was going to wait some more to see if they would go down.
Fast Forward To Last Week
Last week, OP asked if he had bought them yet and he said no. They looked again and the prices were still high. He said he wasn’t willing to spend that much on them and asked how much money OP would lose if she just canceled everything instead.
He offered to have a nice staycation instead. OP told him she was not willing to cancel anything because she spent so much time planning it.
What Did OP Eventually Do?
They argued and they didn’t come to a conclusion. OP eventually wound up buying just one ticket for herself and when she flew out this Saturday, OP told him she was still going and he acted all surprised that she didn’t want to stay home with him.
The Fuss Continues
“I am in New Orleans now and he is blowing up my phone saying that I am a jerk for still going without him. He was trying to get a ticket to come too but I told him if he came, he is getting his own hotel room because this is now my vacation away from him. Am I a jerk?”, asks OP.
He Owes You A Massive Apology
“Not the jerk. I don’t know what the hell your husband’s deal is but he acted like a real jerk. I don’t know if he deliberately sabotaged the trip or just didn’t care enough to follow through on his tiny piece of things, but you were absolutely right to not let him ruin the trip for you, and be sure as hell shouldn’t be booking an expensive plane ticket to come join you now. I hope he’ll be ready with a massive apology when you get home.”
Glad You Didn’t Fall For It
“Not the jerk. That was weaponized incompetence trying to manipulate you into canceling the vacation because he didn’t want to go.
Good on you for going anyway and not playing his passive-aggressive game.”
Your Relationship Has Some Bigger Issues
“You’re both jerks. He should’ve followed through on his part to buy the tickets. I don’t know your financial story or if you work also and have your own separate bank account, but if money is a legitimate issue then you should both be on the same page about everything.
Agreements should be made about solo vacations, not solo vacations out of spite and anger. I think your relationship has some bigger issues and I also think your husband had a problem with the idea of the vacation to begin with.”
He’s Got Bear The Consequences
“Not the jerk. Your husband dropped the ball on a trip you were excited about and had already spent money on. Moreover, you reminded him multiple times.
I get that marriage is a partnership, but he messed up and is now suffering the consequences.”
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