What would you do if you found out your brother had STOLEN the engagement ring you bought for your girlfriend? An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for forcing my brother to buy me a new engagement ring?”. Here’s the full story for you to decide.


couple happy
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The Original Poster (OP) (26M) planned to propose to his girlfriend (24F) on their 4th anniversary, September 30th. He’s been planning this for about a month, and he picked the ring a couple of weeks ago.

“The one I got was on sale, so I managed to get it at a surprisingly low price.”, says OP.

What Happened Last Weekend

Brothers having an arguement with angry looks
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Last weekend, OP told his brother (33M) about his plans, and showed him the ring. OP’s brother informed him that he was proposing to his girlfriend (29F) as well.

The next day, OP’s brother came to OP’s apartment while his girlfriend was out. OP’s brother asked OP if he could “borrow” his (OP’s) ring to propose to his girlfriend.

OP’s Reaction to the Ridiculous Request

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OP thought his brother was joking at first, but no. His plan was to propose to his girlfriend, explain he was using OP’s ring as a “placeholder”, and then take her to pick her own ring later. His reasoning was that he didn’t want to spend too much money right away in case she didn’t say yes.

“I’d never heard of ‘placeholder rings’, so I said no and the conversation moved on.”, says OP.

The Theft

Handsome man keeps palm together. Person asks for something on isolated pink background
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

On Tuesday, OP’s brother proposed to his girlfriend with OP’s ring. He’d taken it before leaving OP’s apartment. OP got distracted at work and didn’t notice it was gone until his fiancée sent a picture of herself wearing the ring to their family group chat.

“I called him to ask about the ring, and he immediately apologized and said he’d ‘keep his promise’ and give it back to me. But at this point, my girlfriend had seen it and his fiancée had posted about it on social media, so it was pointless for me to propose using the same ring.”, says OP.

Get, Set, Fight!

What do you want? Portrait of irritated brunette man with small beard and mustache in casual shirt raising arms in anger, asking why, furious expression. indoor studio shot isolated on pink background
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

They fought about it, and OP’s brother confessed that while he’d told his fiancée the ring was a placeholder, he didn’t tell her where he’d gotten it from. OP felt more angry and betrayed about his brother going behind his back and taking the ring after OP said no than the fact that he stole it.

“I also know his fiancée enough to know she wouldn’t like to learn her engagement ring had been stolen from me, so I told my brother I’d tell her the truth if he didn’t buy me a new engagement ring.”, says OP.

Brother Gave In To OP’s Demand

Young blond curly hair caucasian man isolated doubting and shrugging shoulders in questioning gesture.
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OP’s brother fought against it for a few hours but finally gave up and agreed. They went to a different jewelry store yesterday, and OP picked a new ring. OP managed to stay in the price range, but the new one was still $100 more expensive. OP’s brother bought the ring but is still accusing OP of being inconsiderate and childish.

“He is insistent he would have given me the ring back had I given him the opportunity, and I didn’t need to threaten him to spend so much money on me. He’s now refusing to talk to me.”, says OP.

OP’s Thoughts Right Now

Studio shot of a handsome young man covering his eyes in regret against a gray background.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP is not sure how to feel about this anymore. He’d usually talk to his brother about these things, and it’s surreal that he’s the one he’s fighting this time. OP can’t tell his fiancé as many of their friends overlap.

“The only other person who knows about this is our mom, who’s divided: she thinks what my brother did was wrong and I’m right to be annoyed at him, but I didn’t have to stoop as low as I did by threatening his relationship. Am I a jerk?”, asks OP.

Your Brother Is 100% At Fault

redhair pretty woman feeling extremely shocked and surprised, anxious and panicking, with a stressed and horrified look
Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

“Not the jerk. Your brother created this entire situation and is 100% at fault. If it were me, I’d make all four parties sit down and explain everything. You might as well rip the band-aid off now cause it’s going to come out sooner or later. It will be much worse if it’s later.”

He Consciously Made That Choice!

Young caucasian overweight woman isolated on blue background confused and doubtful shrugging shoulders to hold a copy space.
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“He STOLE your ring. That was a choice he made, and it’s also the choice that is threatening his relationship, not your reaction and words.

It’s completely fair if you never trust him again since he also decided that having *that* the ring was more important than a good relationship with you.”

This Is WILD To Say The Least!

Portrait of pretty unsatisfied furious lady raise arm palm complain questioned communicate you isolated on pink color background.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk. This is WILD. Your brother really took advantage of you, not just by using the ring, but by stealing it from your home after you clearly said no. You aren’t wrong for wanting him to replace the ring, and since he was not being considerate, I think it only makes sense that you find a way to have him get you a new ring.”

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