People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones at others. Because if they do, they get hurt pretty badly!
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for bringing up my brother’s ‘premature’ birth at Christmas dinner to get my parents to shut up?”. Here’s the full story for your context.
Backstory
The Original Poster (OP) is a nurse practitioner, and he is the primary care provider for a lot of the low-risk maternity cases at the practice where he works.
OP also works hand in hand with the doctors and midwives to create a healthy maternity, birth, and postpartum situation.
OP’s Fiance
OP’s fiance is completing her residency. They have been living together for a few years now.
“We aren’t in any hurry to get married. We originally had plans to do so a couple of years ago, but then we got really busy for two years.”, says OP.
His Overly Religious Parents
It is driving OP’s very religious parents crazy that their youngest son is living in sin. He doesn’t really care.
“I’m an adult and I do what I want. We are getting married in June.”, says OP.
The Family Get-Together Ft. Christmas
They’re visiting OP’s parents for Christmas, and the reason is that this year everyone is gathering at his parents’ house. That includes his parents, three siblings, himself, his fiancée, and seven grandchildren. In total, there will be seventeen people.
What Happened At Christmas Dinner?
At dinner, OP’s mom started talking about how she is so glad they are finally getting married and that she won’t be embarrassed at church anymore.
OP’s dad mentioned how proud he is of his three older kids, who all either waited to get married before moving in together or got married right away after moving in together.
How Was OP’s Fiance Feeling?
OP’s fiance was getting embarrassed, and OP was getting mad over this stupid argument they have had too many times. The family dinner was the last straw.
“I have asked them repeatedly just to accept that they cannot control how I live my life. I refuse to stay with them when I visit, even if I come alone. Hotels are just easier.”, says OP.
How Did OP Handle The Taunting?
So, OP started talking about a premature baby he had been reading about. It was almost three months premature and weighed about 1.6 pounds. It was super strong and healthy for being born so tiny, and the NICU had high hopes for the baby doing well.
OP’s mom and dad both got looks on their faces.
“Too bad. Should not have messed around with my fiance’s feelings.”, says OP.
The Top Secret
So, OP asked about his oldest brother. He was born almost four months premature. “Is there a chance that they could check out the family album where they keep all the records of family births and stuff?”, says OP.
OP already knew his brother was over 9 pounds and almost 23″ long when he was born. OP’s grandmother told him all about it the first time his parents tried to shame him.
What Happened Post-Supper?
The subject gets changed very fast. After supper, OP’s parents told him he should not try to embarrass them with private things that were not his concern.
OP told them that if he heard anything about his living arrangements ever again for the rest of his life, he would make sure to keep bringing up the FACT that his mom was in her second trimester when they got married.
“My parents are mad at me for telling them how to behave in their home. But my fiance is happy they seem to be off the subject for good. Am I a jerk?”, asks OP.
That Was Beautifully Handled
“Not the jerk. That was beautifully handled. You didn’t call them out and embarrass them. But you stood your ground. I did laugh out loud when you said where you got your blackmail information.
Grandma had that in her pocket for a long time I’m guessing. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. Merry Christmas and I hope you have a great New Year.”
That Was Much Needed
“Not the jerk. They’re hypocrites. The fact that they fabricated going through a really grueling, often tragic thing to keep up appearances really tells you where their priorities are.
Standing up for your fiance, and yourself, was much-needed.”
Masterful Work
“Absolutely not the jerk. Masterful work. Broached the subject in such a subtle way so they knew but no one else did, and then drove it home with the ultimatum!! *Chef’s kiss*
Cheers to your grandma for giving you the proper ammunition for this. 10/10 Bravo.”
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