Many couples find that their relationship changes over time, and one common change is that they start to dress more casually around each other. This is perfectly normal, but it can sometimes be nice to put in a little extra effort and dress up for your partner.
A netizen recently asked, Am I a jerk for asking my wife to dress up not down? Here’s the full story for you to decide.
Backstory:
OP and his wife have been married for six years now. His wife, Grace, is beautiful.
She is a very girly person liking things like pink, flowers, purses and heels. Before the pandemic, Grace would always dress for a runway. She would wear makeup, heels, dresses, perfume, smooth skin, etc.
What Happened During The Pandemic
During the pandemic though OP’s wife’s job got moved to at home. She stopped her beauty routine and spent most of the days in long t-shirts, shorts, sweat pants or her pyjamas.
What Does OP Say
OP says, “I understood it since we weren’t really going anywhere. Grace also stopped wearing makeup, doing her hair, and shaving. While this bothered me because I like having a beautiful wife I figured it was till her job got moved back to the office.”
What Happened Post-Pandemic?
Now things were open again.
OP’s job had been moved to the office but Grace told him she didn’t want to return and opted to keep working from home. Her wardrobe had completely changed in the two years of the pandemic!
What Did She Do
She hardly wore her dresses, cute shirts, skirts, makeup or anything like before. It was men’s t-shirts with sayings on them like I’m grumpy, jeans, sweat pants, and tennis shoes. And she had COMPLETELY stopped shaving and waxing.
Now she’d dress up a bit if they go out or if they have company but that’s it. Grace tells OP it’s too much work.
The Part Where OP Thinks He Could Be The Jerk
Before the pandemic, they went on a date night. Since they haven’t done it since then, OP suggested a night out at an expensive restaurant. He picked this restaurant on purpose. Grace said no and suggested they order takeout. When OP refused, she suggested a restaurant like IHOP or Chili’s.
Her excuse? She didn’t feel like shaving her legs for one of her dresses and wanted to be comfortable. OP snapped saying “It wouldn’t hurt you to dress up for once!”
She accused OP of only liking her looks!
Oh, Snap!
OP says, “This isn’t true! I told her I was just tired of feeling like I was living with a homeless woman. Grace ended up locking herself in our bedroom.
I know my words were harsh. I ordered a pizza and tried to apologize but Grace wouldn’t open the door. I slept on the couch. Right now Grace is still giving me the cold shoulder, refusing to speak to me or be in the same room as me. I know I hurt her feelings with my words however I think this is depression or isolation from the pandemic since before Grace had no problem looking like a model. Am I a jerk?”
Do you Know What The Pandemic Taught A Lot Of Women?
“You’re the jerk. Do you know what the pandemic taught a lot of women? That the expensive beauty culture that is shoved in our faces all day long is crap. We can be braless, we can be hairy, we can be comfortable all the time instead of 20% of the time and dress up solely when we want to and not because it’s expected.”
What Planet Did You Come From?
“First off, You’re the jerk. Second off, if you were *actually* worried about her being depressed from isolation, it would have been brought up in a **much** different way than what you did.
Third, WHAT DAMN PLANET DID YOU COME FROM TO THINK SHE HAS TO CURATE HER BODY TO YOUR SPECS?”
She’s A Human, Not A Doll!
“OH. MY. GOODNESS.
“While this bothered me because I like having a beautiful wife”? Your wife is right. You like her for her looks but only when she’s wearing makeup and wearing cute dresses. She’s not a doll. She’s a living, breathing person who realized her value is more than her looks.
If you actually care about *her*, the person under her skin, and cares about your marriage, you will apologize. Sincerely. And you will find beauty in who she is now. That, or cut her loose so she can be free of your judgment, and go buy yourself a show dog.”
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This article originally appeared on Mrs Daaku Studio.