Impressing someone you have a crush on can require a lot of effort. However, interestingly, some people do rather foolish things in their attempts to impress their crush.

A user asked the forum, “What was the dumbest thing you ever did to try and impress a girl or guy?” Here are the common responses. 

BOUGHT A HIPPOPOTAMUS SKULL 

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“I bought a $14,000 hippopotamus skull from her shop.”

PERFORMED A SPOON-BENDING ILLUSION 

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“On a first date, I tried to impress my date with a failed spoon-bending illusion. We’ve been married now for twenty four years.”

SOLD A COLLECTION OF BOOKS 

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“I sold a collection of books so my buddy could bring girls home and impress them with the collection to make him appear more well-read”

DID A BACKFLIP 

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“I tried to do a backflip. I’ve never done a backflip before, not even on a trampoline. I woke up just jumping backward and hitting my head hard on the ground, and then I woke up and threw up a bunch. If she ever had a thing for me (which all my friends said she did), it was gone that day.”

DANCE 

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“I was abroad in the Dominican Republic; they had a dance competition on a stage; anyone could enter, and it had around 200 people watching. I was about 9-10 years old and spotted a cute girl who must’ve been around 14-15 years old. So, I decided the best way to get her attention was to get up on stage and dance my heart out. 

Queue 3 minutes of awkward shuffling while maintaining constant eye contact with that girl and horrified/queasy looks from my parents. The coordinator cut me off early by pretending the speaker stopped working. I got a pity clap.”

SMOKING 

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“I wanted to go and have a chat with my favorite teacher in the university. He was a junior lab technician, and I was a senior undergraduate, so he was just three years older than me. He was a smoker, so I approached him at the smoker’s place. 

We had chemistry in class, but we only talked about school-related topics. So I wanted to ask him something personal like ‘What’s up?’ I asked another colleague to give me his cigarette, which was already smoking. I joined the smokers and started talking. 

It was so nice for a moment, but the stick was starting to burn my fingers, so I had to shake it, and to look cool, I took a deep breath of that hot, black, evil smoke. It was so bad I fell and touched the wall. I coughed for the entire school break, and I cried with tears. He pets my back, and I look into his face with red eyes and say, ‘I think I should quit smoking!’ That was my first and last day of smoking.”

ATE WASABI 

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“I was on a first date at a sushi restaurant, and as a joke, I told the guy I dared him to eat the whole thing of wasabi, and he did. He coughed like crazy and went to the bathroom for 20 minutes, came back, and his face was red.” A user said.

WENT TO DISCO 

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“Went to a disco I knew she would be attending. I went alone with no friends and pretended it was a coincidence. My luck was high that day, and some people I knew had a table, so I squished myself with them for a while. 

She didn’t care about me and spent all the time with bouncers. So I got drunk, did one last try for a coffee the next day, and went home around 2 a.m. But there is a moral to the story. She was 10/10 in looks but dull. While her friend was 7/10 in looks but awesome in behavior, that was when I realized how they behave is more important than looks.”

SANG A SONG 

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“In Grade 2, I sang the song from Oliver, ‘I’ll do anything for you dear anything.’ to my crush while my friends held him down at recess. He wasn’t impressed, so next recess, I shoved him face-first down a huge ice hill in the parking lot. He showed up the next day with a scraped, swollen, and bruised face.”

BIKING

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“I tried to impress a girl named Anne with my prowess on a dirt bike. I hit a rut, launched like a missile, and ended up in the Emergency Room (ER) with two broken ankles, a bruised ego & a wrecked CanAm 175. She eventually went out with me. This happened in 1978 when I was 16. Wonder what happened to her?”

DE-CHIPPED COOKIE DOUGH 

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“Picked the chocolates out of the chocolate chip cookie dough because she wanted cookies but not too much chocolate, so I sat there for an hour, de-chipping the dough.”

GAVE HER A DIAMOND RING 

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“Gave her a diamond ring. It’s been 19 years, and she won’t go home.”

TOLD HER I WAS A VEGETARIAN 

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“Told her I was a vegetarian because she was one, even though I despised most vegetables as a youngster.”

WROTE A POETRY

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“Wrote poetry, a letter, and tried to serenade her. It worked the third time around, though.”

NOT WEARING A TOQUE 

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“Not wearing a toque in the winter(in Canada) to impress a girl when I was around 13 years old ended up freezing my ears, and I was close to losing one ear.”

EXPENSIVE FLOWERS 

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“I bought her expensive flowers and found out from a friend that she donated those flowers to a hospital.”

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