We all have those phrases that grate on our nerves, leaving us wondering why people keep saying them. Whether it’s unsolicited advice or insensitive comments, these phrases can be hurtful, annoying, and ultimately unhelpful.
Stop Thinking About It
This dismissive advice undermines the validity of your emotions and minimizes your struggles. Often, people say this because they feel uncomfortable with your feelings or lack the emotional intelligence to offer genuine support.
A user added, ” ‘Just stop thinking about it’ when I’m anxious! Oh, thanks, never thought of that.”
Eat More And Exercise To Grow Taller
This harmful myth can be detrimental to self-esteem, especially for teenagers struggling with body image issues. People often say this out of ignorance or a lack of understanding about human growth and development.
A user added, “That I need to eat more or exercise to grow taller. I’m 19, not 9. It’s not gonna work, buddy. I’m 4’11” for life.”
You Should Smile More
People often say this because they associate smiling with happiness and positivity, but it fails to acknowledge the diverse range of human emotions.
A user said,”‘You should smile more’. I’m a reasonably peppy extrovert when I’m out in public, but I’m a female, working in retail, so the second I don’t smile, some jackass weirdo always has to say something.”
You Look Like A Child
This insensitive comment can be ageist and dismissive of your maturity and accomplishments. A user said, “I look like a child. I am over the legal drinking age in the US but I have had two people think my ID is fake recently because I ‘looked 12’.”
Your Hands Keep Shaking
Pointing out something like shaking hands can increase anxiety and self-consciousness, making the issue worse. People often say this because they lack awareness about social cues and how their words can impact others.
A user added, “I have an essential tremor. My hands are constantly shaking. People keep telling me that I should relax, I look stressed, they ask me if I have Parkison disease, that I drink too much coffee, or they know a cure *insert random esoteric practice*, or they will make me smoke their homegrown weed who will for sure stop the tremor. But nobody asks me, why my hands are shaking. I want people to be candid and polite and ask me why my tremors are.”
Don’t Eat Candy Because You’re Diabetic
This statement can be overly simplistic and insensitive. It can make individuals with diabetes feel judged and restricted while failing to acknowledge the complexity of diabetes management.
A user added, “Not to eat candy because I’m diabetic. I take medications and insulin to reduce my blood sugar. Sometimes, it goes too low. Glucose tablets and gels taste bad, so please let me have my Snickers bar.”
Things Could’ve Been Worse
While intended to offer comfort and perspective, this phrase can often undermine someone’s struggles. It implies that their pain is insignificant compared to hypothetical situations, invalidating their emotions and failing to acknowledge the reality of their experience.
A user added, “‘It could be worse. There are people in a lot worse situations than you. Yeah, and it could be better, and some people have it a lot better too.”
You’re Too Sensitive
This dismissive label can be hurtful and invalidating, making them misunderstood and judged.
A user said, “I am too sensitive. People can joke about me, be rude to me, and undermine my depression and anxiety. But if I stand up for myself or give them a taste of their own medicine, then I am sensitive.”
Ignore Them
While meant to offer a quick solution to difficult situations, the “just ignore them” advice can often be unhelpful and harmful. “‘Just ignore it, and they’ll stop’. No, Ms. Teacher, they will never stop as long as you do nothing about it!”
Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness
While containing a grain of truth, this well-worn adage can feel unhelpful when someone struggles financially. It can minimize the genuine challenges associated with poverty and lack of resources, offering little comfort or practical solutions.
A user added, “I’m tired of hearing people say ‘money doesn’t buy happiness.’ While there may be some truth in the statement, overall, it is naive to believe that having more money wouldn’t make your life easier, which in turn would give you more opportunities to do things you enjoy and, in turn, be happier.”
How Are You Going To Get Married With All The Tattoos?
It implies that tattoos are incompatible with marriage or traditional life choices, imposing societal expectations and hindering self-expression. A user said, ” ‘You’re going to regret getting all the tattoos. How are you going to get married?’ Why on earth would I want to marry someone who doesn’t like my tattoos?”
Everything Happens For A Reason
It usually implies that even bad things happen for a predetermined purpose, minimizing the pain of loss and hardship and offering little practical support. A user added, ” ‘Everything happens for a reason’. People are just weird; that’s the reason.”
Your Time To Reproduce Has Come
This intrusive and insensitive statement disregards individual choices and life plans. A user added, “You need to START having children; it’s the meaning of life. Your life is worthless unless you are a parent.”
It’s God’s Plan
It implies that even bad things happen for a predetermined divine purpose, minimizing the pain of loss and hardship and offering little practical support. A user added, “Wife passed away. Everyone is trying to console me with, ‘It’s God’s plan.” “We don’t know God’s plan.’
So, with all the evil and corruption in the world, it was God’s plan for her to die?! No, I don’t think so. Either there is no God, or s/he isn’t as benevolent as others are lead to believe.”
Lose Some Weight
While seemingly well-intentioned, this seemingly innocuous phrase can have a surprisingly negative impact. Often disguised as advice or concern, it can be judgmental, hurtful, and ultimately unhelpful.
A user added, “You’re so pretty; you’d be even prettier if you just lost some weight.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.