Societal expectations placed upon men often set unrealistic standards that not all individuals can meet. Instead of judging men based on these arbitrary expectations, it’s crucial to recognize and appreciate their unique qualities and contributions.
A user asked the forum, “Reddit’s Men, what shouldn’t men be judged for doing?”. Let’s look at the top responses.
FEELING SAD
“Feeling sad.
I swear, each time I am down, someone tells me to grow a pair, as if men can’t even be sad!”
MAKING LESS MONEY THAN THEIR PARTNER
“Being the one who takes care of kids in a relationship or making less money than their partner.”
EMOTIONS
“Expressing emotions.
Men are humans, just like women. It’s okay to cry; it’s okay to feel bummed out or depressed. You’re not weak for crying or saying you need help.
It is always so brave and strong when you can admit that you need help, need someone to listen, need advice, or just a shoulder to cry on. Men, IT IS OKAY TO HAVE EMOTIONS. YOU ARE HUMAN.”
NOT GETTING INTO A FIGHT
“Not wanting to get into a fight.
There’s zero to be gained from getting into a fight out in public. Best you come out on top but look like a jerk. Worst of all, you get knocked out and land head-first on the concrete and die.”
LIKING GIRLY THINGS
“Liking “girly” cocktails. Let me have a margarita like a goddamn.
Generally, anything deemed “girly”.
The “girly” drinks taste the best, and I won’t apologize for it. Give me a frozen peach and raspberry vodka drink with a tiny umbrella, and we’re flying.”
GOING TO THERAPY
“Going to therapy.
Seeking help for mental health and chronic illness. I haven’t been well in a long time. I’m on disability; I feel worthless and hopeless, largely thanks to society because of my inability to fulfill the traditional manly provider role.
My dad is so strong and never gets sick; he was always so stoic. I wanted to be like that, but I’m a different person. I’ve probably had more surgery in 40 years than ten normal people have in their lives.”
NOT LIKING SPORTS
“Not liking sports.”
PLAYING
“Playing. I work hard at work and save money so I can then play. That might be video games, might be a sport, might be building random things in a workshop, but whatever it is, let a bro have his hobbies/playtime. See a 30-year-old playing Pokémon? Good, leave him alone and let him have his fun.”
EXPRESSING AFFECTION
“Expressing affection, showing weakness and emotion.”
DOING NOTHING ON WEEKENDS
“Taking a weekend to do absolutely nothing.”
ANTISOCIAL
“Being antisocial. No, it’s not a red flag; maybe I’ve just had enough of dealing with people.”
MAKING FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS IN THEIR GARDENS
“Making cut flower arrangements from their gardens.”
PEDICURE AND MANICURE
“Pedicures and manicures. Our hands and feet deserve to look nice, too.”
NOT BEING SUPERMAN
“Not being Superman.
Sometimes, to be honest, we’re kind of just oblivious. A lot of us go to work early and come home late; we’re tired, we’re sore, we’re overworked and underpaid.
Then we have to try to be super-husband/super-dad while society loudly judges us for sometimes falling short and not always being 100% on point.
We have to be providers, but if we spend too much time at work, we’re parents or husbands.
If we try to spend more time at home around the family, society tells us that we’re lazy or that we’re bums.
We’re constantly fed contradictory information, with the message always being, “If you do/don’t do this, you have no value.”
For the sake of those of us who do everything we can to be the best man we can be, PLEASE, give us a break every now and again.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.