Our desire to be liked and appreciated can lead us to hide our true selves.  A user asked, what do you hide from girls so you won’t get rejected? and here are the top things

1. Recovering From Illness

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“That I’m recovering from a large cancer operation. It seems to freak women out, and it doesn’t help I’m unable to work. I’m not broke, but it just doesn’t sound great, and far too many people in the UK judge you on what you do rather than who you are.”

‘My testosterone deficiency and the resulting consequences that are still in diagnostics’

“I have RLS AND obstructive sleep apnea (I use a CPAP at night). This kind of destroyed my mojo, and I’m afraid to tell any prospects about it.”

2. Lack of Friends

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“That I have no friends. It’s a big turn-off.

3. No Prior Girlfriend

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“That I’ve never had a girlfriend, and I am 23. Women who liked me said that when they found out that no women wanted them, why should I? Lol, that thing hurt.”

4. Pokemon Collection

a man in shock
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“I hid my extremely large Pokemon collection from my girlfriend for about a year, thinking I’d get rejected for loving something so childish as a grown man. There was a night when she was so embarrassed for not knowing she had started her period that she was in tears…I responded by opening the hidden cabinet doors to my collection and telling her not to feel bad because my thing was much more embarrassing. Five years later, and we are getting married this July.”

5. Talking To Myself

Attractive man lying on floor with his labrador at home in living room
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“I talk to myself quite a bit when I’m alone. Out loud. I live alone. I hide this from pretty much everyone. It’s very controllable like I do it intentionally, but it’s just more natural to me than keeping my thoughts in my head.”

6. Former Addiction

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“Former heroin addict. I’m 6 months clean and have been dating a wonderful girl for a couple of months. I’m scared she will change how she views me. I’m planning on when/how I want to tell her. Balancing between not being too soon to scare her away and not too late so she feels I lied/hid it from her.”

“My criminal and drug use history. Without explaining it, I’d look like a complete wreck. And explaining something like that when first meeting someone is way too much info for an initial meeting.”

7. Mental Health Issues

annoyed man
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“Mental health issues, I talked to one of my partners about being bipolar and some of the symptoms of the disease, and she used that against me to try to get away with everything. “You’re just being paranoid,” “Honey, maybe it’s just your disorder,” etc. Never felt so low in my life.”

8. Being Disabled

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“Being disabled. I was told two things on my last date (years ago now): She wouldn’t have agreed to the date if she knew I was disabled. That “I shouldn’t have been born because the world needs fewer problems.

I just turned 40 last year, and it’s quite hard knowing that you will never find someone that will love you. It was even harder when I realized this when I was young. I keep hoping I’m wrong, but deep down, I know I’m not.” 

Practicing guitar and cannabis helps with the physical and mental pain.”

9. Struggles With Alcohol

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“Struggles with alcohol. If you are better but mention it, it’s a huge red flag for them, so you lose. Even if you are better. Since alcohol is so pervasive in society, it’s the hardest thing to hide. If you don’t want to drink but the date, it’s a difficult issue to get around because it immediately surfaces. It’s a tough one.”

10. Internet History 

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“My internet history, that isn’t for the faint of heart.”

11. Not Driving

Female taxi driver talking with male passenger. Man holding mobile phone in hand.
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“That I don’t drive. I’m 25 and live in a small city (140K), but it seems that to be eligible for most women, having a driving license is essential. I want to learn this year, but I’ve always cycled everywhere or lived close to work and the city center, so it wasn’t a priority. It isn’t easy to justify to most people as they see it as important as knowing how to swim or ride a bike.”

12. Insecurities

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“My insecurities, of my body, my thought process. I’m a gym rat, I have a Masters’s Degree. I consider myself charismatic (not hard if living in Germany, people tend to be extremely introverted compared to my Latino background). But I know I am extremely insecure; I was cheated on by someone I thought would be my wife. It has been chaos, to say the least, and I am just full of self-hate, but I could never tell that to a woman.”

13. Height

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“I very intentionally don’t bring up my height on Tinder because it’s a number that isn’t aesthetically pleasing (5’9) and gets me rejected online but irl it’s never been an issue. I don’t get called tall, but I’ve never been rejected for my height irl after meeting someone. On Tinder it’s an instant “nope” from 80% of girls.”

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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.

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