A supportive and helpful spouse can profoundly impact our well-being and happiness. They can provide emotional support, share responsibilities, and offer valuable insights and feedback. But what happens when our supportive spouse starts acting out?
A user approached the forum and asked, Am I wrong for blowing up on my husband over Chicken Alfredo? You decide.
Backstory
The Original Poster (OP) is a 38-year-old female married to a 42-year-old male. They have been together since their early twenties and have three children, all under 10.
OP’s Husband Is A Mechanic
OP’s husband is a mechanic and works anywhere from 60 to 80 hours a week, while OP work as a hostess 3 days a week at a restaurant while the kids are at school.
OP Does All The Housework
OP does most of the housework and childcare, and she doesn’t mind as she understands he has a demanding job and works a lot.
However, he gets the kids on the bus every morning because he leaves for work about 10 minutes afterward. OP says, “All I ask of him is to do his laundry as his clothes are covered in oil and grime. He must go in alone and pick up after himself because the kids destroy the house enough. He’ll also help with dinner and cleanup at the end of the day several times a week.”
Read: Strange but True: 10 European Habits That Leave Americans Scratching Their Heads
What Started Happening?
Over the last two months, OP’s husband has completely stopped helping. He dumps his clothes on the laundry room floor, half of the bedroom is a mess, and leaves cans and wrappers all over the living room. He’s even stopped getting the kids up, which has upset them as they love their mornings with dad.
He’s also been coming home hours later than usual.
OP Let It Go
OP has been letting it go as he seems very stressed out, but a few days ago, he snapped at OP for being a “bad wife” for allowing his clothes to go unwashed. OP reminded him that he always did his own laundry and hadn’t asked her to do it.
What Happened Last Night?
Last night, OP made chicken alfredo. She says, “We have it about once a week because the kids love it, and no one’s ever complained. Well, he said bad things throughout the whole dinner.”
He Told She Wasn’t Caring
He told her she wasn’t caring for the house, so she should at least put a good meal on the table. He added that she has been letting the whole family go bad, and she should be ashamed of herself for treating him and his children like that.
What Did She Say
He also called her a lousy wife and mother in front of the children. She told the children to go to their rooms and snapped, says
“I screamed at him about how much I do for the household, that if it wasn’t for me, the place would be trashed, and he has no right to treat me like this over chicken alfredo. We went back and forth for a while before he left, and I have no idea where he went, and he isn’t answering my calls or texts.”
Update:
She called her husband for the 100th time because he still hadn’t come home, and the kids wanted to know where he was, and a woman answered. OP says, “I didn’t recognize her voice, and he has no sister. I asked her to put me on the phone with my husband, and she asked who I was; I said I was his wife, and she laughed into the phone and told me he was busy. We went back and forth, with her laughing at me the whole time before telling her she’ll send him home soon and hanging up”.
What Happened Next
OP says it’s the following day, and he’s still not home. She didn’t think he was cheating; she had hoped this was just a rough patch, but it looked like many netizens warned her of this.
She says, “I’m heartbroken, a little in shock, and not really sure what to do right now. My brother said I should come to stay with him, and I might, or maybe just bring the kids, so they don’t have to see us fight. I might update again, or I might not, but I’m sure you all know where this is heading anyway.”
He Might Have An Affair
“I sincerely hope I’m mistaken, but your DH may be having an affair and setting you up to be “the bad wife and mother” to justify his behavior. That’s what happened to me.”
You’re NOT A Jerk
“Not a jerk, and whatever these people tell you to “be more understanding” about your husband’s burn out, like it’s your fault he demeans, disrespects, and degrades you in front of your children.
Kids under ten are a FT job, and your bring in extra income with PT work outside the home. You’ve been more than generous in allowing him to slide on his (very minimal) chores for 2 months. To COMPLAIN about a homemade MEAL? Idk and idgaf what it is that your husband needs — therapy, a different job, or a little taste of what it will be like when his wife leaves him — but this OPEN CONTEMPT he’s displayed is absolutely UNACCEPTABLE and a complete marriage ender. The man is breaking his marriage vows, tiny crack by tiny crack.
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.