Delve into the story of an ex-husband who forgets a dinner date with his daughter and shifts blame onto his ex-wife, raising questions about their relationship dynamics.
A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for not reminding my ex he was supposed to come over to see our daughter?”. Read the complete story to know more.
BACK STORY
The original poster (OP) has a 7-year-old daughter. Her ex wasn’t involved in her life by his choice.
HE REACHED OUT
Back in December, he reached out. OP says it took some time, talking, and a little therapy.
He’s been back in their daughter’s life for about four months. And they are working with the courts to establish paternity and for him to get custody.
OP LET HIM VISIT
In the meantime, OP let him visit her daughter at her place. He’s taken her on day trips. Since getting a bigger apartment, he’s had her spend the night.
PLANNED A DINNER WITH HIM
OP says he was supposed to visit her Wednesday, have dinner with them, and watch a movie. Three of them try to do things, per the therapist’s recommendation, so she can see them get along.
HE DIDN’T SHOW UP
Her ex said he’d be over around 6:00, But he didn’t show up. By 6:30, her daughter was hungry, so she fed her. OP tried to put off the movie, but eventually, she let her watch it.
HER DAUGHTER IS DISAPPOINTED
She was disappointed about her dad not showing up. So, OP put her to bed at 9. OP says that her ex called her at 11:30 and freaked out. He said he forgot that they were supposed to have dinner.
HE FORGOT
He said he only remembered because his girlfriend came home from work and asked how everything went.
HE GOT MAD AT OP
Rather than apologizing, he got mad at OP and asked why she didn’t call him.
She said that she was not going to chase him down and added that she already spent nine months doing that when she was pregnant, begging him to be in her life.
HE SHOULD MAKE AN EFFORT
OP says that she will not do that now, and it is up to him to make an effort and remember those things.
They had therapy the next day, and OP’s daughter was on her side. However, her ex insists that she should’ve called him.
OP was frustrated that he hadn’t try to apologize to their daughter. Her mom also said that she should’ve called. She wants to know if she is wrong
IGNORE YOUR MOM
“He’s just mad his girlfriend saw him for the deadbeat father that he is.
Ignore your mom. Listen to your therapist.”
IT IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
“It’s not your responsibility to keep your ex on schedule. As a 28-year-old adult, he should take responsibility for himself and his time.
One thought – set up a shared calendar so that when you have planned activities, they can go on the shared calendar.
Not that you have to by any means, but just a thought to keep track of you and to eliminate any “I forgot” excuses from him.”
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The article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.