When your decisions or choices negatively impact someone else, especially if they’re not at fault, the least you can do is take responsibility and not blame them for not supporting you.
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for telling my sister I will never accept her or her life choices?”. We need to hear your thoughts.
Backstory
The Original Poster (OP) (16F) has a half-sister (29f) from her mother’s first marriage. They had a good relationship given the age difference.
What Did He Find
A few months ago, it came out that she was an adult actress. Her biological dad disowned her which made OP’s mom super protective. She made her out to be this brave amazing person.
OP didn’t say anything even when they’d have casual conversations about her work at the dinner table.
The News Reached OP’s Schoolmates
Someone from OP’s school found out about a week ago, and her videos have been sent around.
The only thing standing for OP is that summer break has already started so she can at least hide somewhere from everything.
The Bullying Begins
“I’m not going into details of what’s been happening but I’ve lost friends and was forced to delete all social media, I’ve been staying in my room mostly, and I’ve not been able to even look at my sister (she didn’t know till tonight).”, says OP
But one of OP’s remaining friends reached out to her mom asking about everything. OP doesn’t know what was said but she heard yelling from her mom’s end. Then OP’s mom demanded OP go down to the living room. Then, she called OP’s sister and her dad for a family meeting.
What Does OP’s, Mom Want?
Long story short, OP’s mom is angry at her for not defending her sister and she wants OP to reopen her tik tok account to make a public message defending her and name-shaming most of OP’s school. OP knows this will make it worse so she told her no.
OP Lost Her Calm
OP’s sister was quite upset so she asked her if she was ashamed of her and demanded OP to explain why she couldn’t support her.
OP Was So Angry
OP was so angry at this stage that she screamed this was all her fault, that she will never support her or her life choices, and she wished she wasn’t her sister because OP’s life has been hell yet she has the nerve to play victim.
What Happened Next
It got really heated to the point OP’s dad walked OP into her room and told her to stay there. Mom came in later, took her phone, and told her to pack her stuff because she’ll be staying with her aunt (OP’s dad’s sister) for the foreseeable future because she can’t stand to be around OP right now.
“I can hear them in my sister’s room. She’s still crying and mom is comforting.”, says OP.
Now OP wants to know if she is a jerk.
This Is Extremely Disturbing
“Not the jerk. I find it troubling that a grown woman wants a minor child to make a public post praising an adult actress. It’s like the mother wants to feed this child up to predators who are looking for under-aged kiddos to prey upon.
It cannot be that a minor is forced to speak about liking/condoning/praising adult movies. Like… you protect your minor kids from adult issues like this.
You’re not at fault in this OP, neither is your sister. Unfortunately, her life choices are impacting you negatively and that isn’t fair to you. I’m sorry you’re in that position.
You do NOT have to validate her choice of profession. Your mother sounds like she has some trouble with good parenting and I’m sorry if anyone here send you inappropriate messages.”
Choices Have Consequences
“Not the jerk. When people decide to do stuff for a living they are making a choice that can be very damaging for all of their family members, especially the younger ones. Choices have consequences.
You can not expect family members to be supportive of degenerate behavior that negatively affects them just because they are family.”
It’s Not Your Job To Defend Anyone
“They want you to fight an entire school for the actions of a 29-year-old woman? They’re insane. You are the child. It’s not your job to defend the adults in your life.
The grownups need to actually grow up and deal with their own stuff.”
You’re Not At Fault At All
“You’re not the jerk. You’re a kid who suddenly became the target of abuse. Apologize to your sister for saying mean things in the heat of the moment. She’ll either accept or she won’t, but that’s not on you.
Tell your mom it was really bad of her to put you in that position in the first place. Beyond that, you don’t owe anyone an explanation unless you want to talk and they’re willing to listen. Then let it go.
What’s done is done and you can’t change any of it. You know who the jerks are and you know who your friends are so you can proceed through life accordingly.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.