Insecurity can make you say things that you would not normally say, especially in times of stress.
An internet user recently shared that her husband told her he hopes she dies during surgery. Awful as it may sound, it turns out there’s a bigger picture to the story.
Backstory:
The Original Poster (OP) is getting a gastric bypass in 2 weeks. She had had this planned for over a year when she got her insurance.
It was a snap decision but her weight has been an issue her whole life and her GP has been pushing her to get the surgery after multiple failed attempts at trying to lose it herself and multiple health issues being made worse by her weight.
What Happened A Year Ago?
A year ago, OP decided during her lunch break to get health insurance and the fortnightly payments have pretty much kept her motivated in her journey to better herself because “OMG IT’S SO MUCH MONEY?!”
OP’s husband was so angry when she called and told him she had signed up for the insurance. He told her it was a waste of her money and she didn’t need to lose weight but after a short argument, he didn’t bring it up again.
What Did OP Do All This Time?
Months went by, and OP forgot about it because she had a whole year to wait before she could do anything, but she was taking steps to better herself in other areas.
What Does OP Say
OP says, “I started dressing nicer, I went into a clothes store for the first time in a decade and spent a grand on a new wardrobe. This sounds like a lot but I have hated myself for so long that I only wore t-shirts and joggers.
I went to the hairdresser for the first time in 6 years! I went to the dentist! I am looking into maybe braces. I started my bachelor’s in data science. Like when I say I have completely taken this as a chance to become a new person I’m not joking. I want to come out of this being proud of who I am and not just the same me in a skinnier body.”
OP’s Husband’s Take On OP’s Decision
OP’s husband was not supportive at all of any of this. At every step, he has just told her she’s doing the wrong thing. She’s spending too much money.
The clothes she wears don’t look good. She’s not smart enough to do data science.
What Did OP Do
OP just ignored it because she thought maybe if she improved herself it would motivate him to do the same. He doesn’t even need to get a better job or anything like that but maybe he could cook more or do stuff around the house or take care of things she can’t because she’s so busy. But he won’t.
OP thinks, “Like we are 25 and 26 we can do anything we want our life isn’t over yet we have only just started it he doesn’t have to spend the rest of his life doing nothing.”
What Happened Next
The closer they got to OP’s surgery date the more he would send her videos of bariatric surgery patients telling their stories going wrong to scare her out of doing it. He would tell OP statistics of her gaining weight back and that she’ll probably still be fat so there is no point.
After about a week of this, OP snapped and an argument ensued. She called him lazy and said that he’s living off her money so she doesn’t know why he complains so much.
What Did He Say
And he told OP he hopes she doesn’t wake up from the surgery and walked out. He won’t answer her calls now and she thinks in 2 weeks she’s going to come out of surgery without a stomach or a husband.
He’s Being A Total Jerk
“This is the definition a of self-fulfilling prophecy. He was scared that if you better yourself, you would leave him for someone better. He tries to discourage you and acts like a total jerk. You better yourself anyways and you leave him because he’s acting like a jerk. I wish you the best of luck finding someone who values you.”
Looks Like You Need To Lose Some Other Weight, As Well
“Idk how much your husband weighs but I would use the gastric bypass to lose his full weight too.
Divorce him and get your life back, he is living off your money and you are only 25. Do you really want to waste all your life with all this negativity? You do not have kids yet so it is even easier.”
Let Him Talk To Your Hand
“He’s an extremely insecure little man who wants you fat and slobby so no man will want you. The better you look the more abusive he’ll become. I wouldn’t hear another word of it. Let him talk to the hand as you go make yourself happy.”
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