Your partner is supposed to support you in your good and bad. But the question is how bad?
A Redditor took to a popular forum and asked, “Am I wrong in not telling a lie to my daughter, or should I do what my wife says and take the fall for her actions?”
Backstory:
The Original Poster (OP) has been with his 48-year-old wife, Andrea, and has a 17-year-old stepdaughter, Cassie. He loves them both immensely but acknowledges that Cassie is a brilliant young woman.
Recognizing her potential, he and Andrea decided to create a college fund for Cassie to alleviate any financial burden she may encounter.
As the years have passed, the fund has amassed over $200,000. Cassie was aware of that and was counting on that as she was attempting to gain acceptance into an Ivy League school.
What Did Andrea Do?
A week later, it was discovered that almost $170,000 had gone missing from the college fund that OP and his wife, Andrea, had set up for their stepdaughter.
OP was deeply upset and confronted Andrea, asking if she knew about the missing money. Andrea became emotional and confessed to using the money to fuel her spending habits.
Despite feeling furious, OP had a moment of clarity and considered the possibility of infidelity. He asked Andrea if she was having an affair, but she vehemently denied that and offered to provide proof through her social media accounts, emails, work phone, and receipts.
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After examining everything, OP found nothing suspicious and let the matter go. However, the couple still had to deal with the significant issue of the missing money from Cassie’s college fund.
Andrea described herself as a shopping addict and confessed that the money from Cassie’s college fund was too tempting for her to resist. She did not attempt to make excuses for her actions but did not provide any solutions to the problem either.
OP was extremely angry with Andrea for her actions. He felt that she had ruined Cassie’s chances of attending college without debt and changed the trajectory of her entire life. He asked Andrea to stay with her sister while he tried to sort out the situation. Cassie was worried about why her mother was leaving, but OP and Andrea explained that they needed a little space.
What Happened Next?
The next day, OP asked Andrea to return home to discuss the missing money from Cassie’s college fund. During their conversation, Andrea asked a favor of OP to take the blame for the cash.
She explained that she and Cassie have a strained relationship due to various reasons, and she was afraid that if Cassie found out about her actions, she would permanently leave after college, if not before. OP and Cassie had a close relationship, and Andrea didn’t want to risk losing her daughter.
OP refused Andrea’s request to take the fall for the missing money and insisted that she take responsibility for her actions. He set several conditions, including that Andrea must acknowledge her mistake and seek individual therapy, they must attend couples counseling, she must join a shopaholic support group, and he would be in charge of the finances moving forward.
OP also insisted that Andrea tell Cassie what she had done, apologize, and hope for forgiveness. Andrea refused, saying that she could not bear to lose Cassie. OP clarified that he would only consider taking the fall if Andrea agreed to his terms.
OP was feeling stuck and conflicted about what to do next. He was reluctant to lie to Cassie but didn’t want to risk Andrea and Cassie’s relationship permanently falling apart. Moreover, he was upset that Cassie’s future had been affected regardless of their decision. He was considering borrowing from his 401k to replenish the missing money but was still determining if it was viable.
OP is faced with a difficult choice that will significantly impact his daughter’s future. He is torn between protecting his wife and preserving his daughter’s trust.
What do you think he should do? Was OP right in considering her wife’s request to take the blame? or Was it inappropriate for OP’s wife to make such a request? Share your opinions.
This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.