Achievement is a subjective concept, and everyone’s definition is different. But regardless of what an achievement means to someone, it is important to be respectful of their accomplishments and avoid making them feel bad about their successes.
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for telling someone that his ‘achievement’ just meant that he had rich parents?”. We need to hear your thoughts on the matter.
Backstory
The Original Poster (OP) (23m) has been with his current company for a year now. Recently, a new guy (Jack) joined their team fresh out of college.
What Happened Last Friday?
Last Friday, OP’s manager invited everyone to a bar after work. There, Jack told everyone about an achievement that he obtained over spring break: he visited his 150th country (Cambodia).
In contrast to everyone else, who was asking things such as “What was the best/worst/strangest thing you ate,” “Which countries were your favorite,” and “Any cool stories,” OP just said “Good for you” and went back to his drink.
Jack noticed OP being quiet and asked him why he wasn’t joining in. OP said “Don’t worry about me” but Jack kept pressing the issue.
What Did OP Finally Say To Jack?
OP finally said, “Jack, visiting 150 countries is cool and all but it doesn’t say anything about you as a person. It just means you had rich parents who could afford to travel internationally several times a year.”
Some More Context About OP
OP grew up poor, (literally) worked super hard in high school, got a full-ride merit scholarship, and did everything humanly possible to land his current 6-figure job.
Rich people who think they’re better than everyone else just because they had rich parents are a HUGE pet peeve of OP.
But OP’s coworkers don’t know any of that, since he likes to keep work and his personal life as separate as possible.
What Does OP Think Now?
“Jack got really quiet after that and left soon afterwards. Now it’s Monday morning and I’m wondering if I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.”, says OP.
You Created A Scene Out Of Nothing
“You’re the jerk – So your colleagues were having a fun ‘get to know each other’ after work drink session, and one of them shared that he’s visited 150 countries, and you used that opportunity to derail the conversation, make them feel unwelcome, and you’re not sure if you’re the jerk in the situation? You are.
His visiting 150 countries doesn’t detract from your accomplishments. It’s not a competition. It was a light-hearted bar conversation. Sure, money was obviously a factor, but it doesn’t sound like he was trying to make out like he was *better* than you because he got to do something you didn’t.
Rich people thinking they’re better than everyone else is bad, for sure, but having a huge chip on your shoulder and treating colleagues like nonsense because they had an opportunity you didn’t is also bad.”
You Were Not Wrong
“Not the jerk, you tried to disengage. You said congrats. He wanted to press the issue. IDK why he cared so much about what you thought about it and why he kept pressing it. Maybe he could sense you didn’t care and his ego couldn’t handle it? Just spitballing here.
But you are not wrong, going to 150 countries by the time you reach your early 20’s does just mean that he has rich parents. I mean, good for him, that must be sick.”
You Owe Him An Apology
“You’re the jerk. Nothing in your post indicated he came off braggy or elitist about it. People were sharing achievements and you decided that his achievement wasn’t appropriate. Then, to make matters worse, you berated him for it.
You owe him an apology and to start over without bringing your baggage to every conversation.”
He Shouldn’t Have Pressed You
“I don’t get it. He said he did a cool thing, which is cool by most people’s standards, and you said ‘Good for you’ and minded your business. He should have done the same and interacted with the people that wanted to interact with him about it.
He asked, you told him to leave it alone and he pressed you. Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to. You weren’t even mean about it.”
Why Do You Think Your Pet Peeve Applies Here?
“Your pet peeve applies here how? He said he visited his milestone of 150 countries, he didn’t call you a poor loser that doesn’t travel or rub it off, and he didn’t say he was better than anyone there because he had traveled so much.
You CHOSE a career full of rich snobby jerks and then projected onto him and yeah maybe he did have rich parents that bankrolled his travels, at least he used it to presumably see different cultures and expand knowledge instead of his third car and fifth boat.
I don’t know, maybe don’t be salty other people have lives that weren’t like yours?”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.