With so many different traditions, customs, and personal preferences to consider, it’s no wonder everyone wants their wedding to be a unique and memorable reflection of their individual style and personality. But what if your spouse tries to change what you want?
A Redditor asked on the forum, Am I wrong for my reaction when I learned that my fiance returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom picked for me?
Background:
The Original Poster (OP) is a 28-year-old female, and her 33-year-old fiance is all set to get married in December. While his mother is a typically pleasant person, she has a tendency to be intrusive. They have a decent and somewhat agreeable relationship with her.
The wedding planning process has been a challenging experience for the couple. The groom’s mother has been unyielding in her opinions. The groom has suggested that the bride should respect and value his mother’s “vision” for the wedding since he is her only son.
Groom’s mother insisted on coming for wedding dress shopping, and OP took her along with her mom and friends. OP was so lucky to have found what she was looking for, but her future mother-in-law (MIL) picked a dress she liked so much and said she always pictured her son’s bride in that dress.
OP’s mom and friends thought that MIL’s behavior was unsettling. OP thought the dress was somewhat creepy and totally not her type. OP apologized and thanked her for her “vision” but told her that she had already decided on a dress she had “envisioned” herself wearing at her wedding.
What Happened Next?
Future MIL got angry because of it. She complained to her son because he came home in the evening ranting about how OP upset his mom and turned down her help in choosing the wedding dress. He claimed that OP excluded her from the process.
OP asked, “what process?” it was just a wedding dress. OP’s fiance got upset and said that his attitude won’t work for him or his mom. He said that OP should consider the dress his mom wanted her to buy, arguing that the two dresses were not so different. However, OP strongly disagreed, insisting that the dresses were, in fact, very different.
They argued for a while and then dropped it.
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What Happened the Next Day?
The next day, OP came home to find that he had returned her wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom wanted. OP called him, and he was straightforward about what he did and why he did it.
OP lost it and started screaming at him. He asked her to calm down and give the dress “a chance.”
OP refused to listen and yelled at him without giving him a chance to speak. He got home, and they had an argument. OP then went to stay with one of her friends, and he kept calling, saying that OP was overreacting.
He added that it wasn’t cool how she screamed at him. He insisted OP give the dress a chance. He went on about how his mom had a “vision” and good intentions.
OP’s mom was angry and wanted to confront the fiance and his mom. Still, OP’s dad advised against it to avoid damaging the relationship with the in-laws.
OP’s dad suggested that OP should go along with what the future mother-in-law wants. Still, OP questioned whether it was reasonable to feel guilty about picking her wedding dress just to maintain peace. OP wonders if she is the one at fault for reacting this way.
What do you think? Did OP make the right decision by refusing to wear the dress of her future MIL’s choice and choosing the dress she wanted instead, or should she have listened to her MIL? What would you do in this situation?
The article originally appeared on Mrs. Daaku Studio.