His wife got a job she loves, so he wants his wife to find another job in her free time. A user asked the forum, Am I a jerk for telling my wife she needs to find another job?
BACK STORY
The original poster ( OP ) and his wife have been married for four years.
During those four years, OP’s wife had the same job, which required her to be away from Friday to Sunday, so OP’s wife left early on Friday and returned about 4-5 pm on Sunday.
OP says Occasionally; it would be leaving on Saturday and returning Sunday. She also has to work some of the school/public holidays.
WHAT DOES OP DO
OP work full time and get just a bit above minimum wage and tips, so their bills are split 60 for OP’s wife and 40 for OP.
OP was struggling with money and having to have to borrow from the joint bank account, but his wife never had this problem. He knows that his wife is getting paid more than he does, as his wife works for a high-profile client, but he is not sure by how much more.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
OP’s wife wouldn’t tell him what exactly she is doing; all OP knowS is that it is connected to her degree, and it is 100%, not something else.
The reason why OP’s wife won’t tell him is because she signed the contract, and it is highly confidential, so she is not allowed to go into details.
WHAT DOES OP SAY
OP says that his wife does chores around the house but doesn’t cook as she admits she is a bad cook and hates it; instead, she would order either those premade healthy meals, then heat up for herself.
OP says that when he is at home, his wife will order for him too.
OP IS ANNOYED
OP says that most of the day while he is working, she is either in our house chilling (watching TV, playing video games, reading, or exercising) or shopping or in the gym. He also admits that over the years, he got annoyed with this and has asked her to find another job so she has something to do while he is working instead of wasting her day.
OP’s wife told him that she was not wasting her day but relaxing, and her job paid her enough to afford the lifestyle she wanted.
IT IS NOT FAIR
OP said that it was not fair on him, as he came home tired while she had done nothing all day, to which OP’s wife said that she could find another job or a different job, but OP is a jerk for wanting her to find another job because she feels tired when coming back from her work even though she has already got a job she loves.
After this, she won’t talk to OP. He says that he has spoken to his family, and while his parents agree with him that she needs to work, OP’s sisters took his wife’s side and called him a jerk.
IT IS WORST
“You have no right to make your wife leave her clearly very good job just because you feel it’s unfair to you.She gets paid well and gets to relax, but you’d rather she suffer working the same way you suffer than you’d have financial security.
If it bothers you this much, how about you start looking for another job that pays more and demands less?
Edit: OP, your edit that she needs to find a second job doesn’t make this any better. In fact, it makes it worse.”
YOU ARE EGOISTIC
“Not only covered, but she actually pays more than his share.. so why is it that she has to find another job? I do not understand his reasoning except that it triggers his fragile ego that his wife makes more than him with less effort.”
OP IS WRONG
“Oh, it’s worse. He wants her to get a second job to do while he’s working.
He’s either resentful that she has the day off when he doesn’t or wants her to work more so he can make her pay a larger percentage of joint expenses or both.”
It’s RIDICULOUS
“Yeah, it’s ridiculous.
Maybe I’d be more sympathetic if the reasoning was that they never get time together as a couple due to heavily-conflicting work schedules, but clearly, that’s not the case… instead, it’s petty jealousy that she is living a life she enjoys with a better job than he has.
Maybe OP should go back to school and get a better job.”
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