Why would someone intentionally try to third-wheel with their parents while planning a romantic trip alone? We’ve no idea as well!

A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for abandoning my daughter on vacation?”. Let us know what you think in the comments section!


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The Original Poster (OP) and his wife have always dreamed of celebrating their 40th anniversary with a luxurious vacation. 

“Just the two of us, reliving the romance of our early years. We had it all planned out for years now and were excited beyond words”, says OP. 


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Here enters their adult daughter, Jane. Jane and her husband got wind of their plans and promptly invited themselves and their two children (9F, 5M) along. 

“I originally put my foot down and told them this trip was just for us, which upset her some. But my wife has a hard time saying no to Jane, as she is the youngest of our children and our only daughter, and she didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so she reluctantly agreed to let them join”, says OP. 


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OP wasn’t thrilled about it at the time, but he wanted to make his family happy, and he knew his wife was also okay with the idea of a “family” trip even if she was heartbroken they wouldn’t get their romantic trip. Anyway, they went along with it. 

“The place we originally went was not child-friendly, so we decided on an all-inclusive, family-friendly resort. We paid for the resort and our grandchildren’s plane tickets. Jane and her husband only had to pay for their airfare”, says OP. 


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As the vacation got closer, OP started having a change of heart. OP realized that their 40th anniversary was a once-in-a-lifetime milestone, and he wanted to honor it in a way that was true to their original plans. 

“My wife and I might not be able to afford a trip like this again for quite some time, and it’s something we always wanted to do,” says OP. 


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So, without consulting anyone, OP switched their tickets at the last minute to go to the romantic destination OP and his wife had initially planned. OP did not tell Jane or her husband. He didn’t even tell his wife until the day before their flight left, which was a day before Jane’s flight left for their vacation. 

“It wasn’t an easy decision, and I feel guilty. But I wanted our 40th anniversary to be the special, intimate celebration we had always hoped for”, says OP. 


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They called Jane after they landed to tell her, and she was agitated. She seemed to think that OP and his wife would look after their grandkids so she and her husband could have alone time, and now that OP abandoned her, they would have to do it all themselves. 

“I hung up on them when my son-in-law started shouting, and my wife and I enjoyed the rest of our trip,” says OP. 


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Jane and her husband returned the same day OP and his wife did but did not answer any of their texts, and Jane seemed to be ignoring OP.

“My wife told me she vastly preferred our trip to the family trip we would have taken, but she still doesn’t like how Jane is mad at us and wants me to apologize,” says OP. 


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“I’m not sure I want to apologize after learning Jane and her husband were using us for free babysitting and a free trip, but I feel I should keep the peace. Am I the jerk for changing our trip destination at the last minute and leaving Jane and her family to fend for themselves?” asks OP.


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“Everyone’s in the wrong. Yes, it would help if you had been firm initially but caved in. So sneaking around and changing all the plans without telling your daughter or even asking your wife was absurd. Now everyone’s angry and upset.”


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“Not the jerk. Jane tried to turn your romantic anniversary getaway into their free romantic getaway plus free babysitters. She can think about what kind of stupid behavior that was. Nice move!”


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“Not the jerk. Honestly, it sounds like you dodged a last-minute bullet, especially with it seeming like your daughter and her husband planned to have you all watch their kids. Very proud of you for that decision and ultimately choosing your happiness. Your daughter is grown, and hopefully, they make it to their 40th to get the same trip.”


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“Not the jerk at all. Sorry, but Jane is entitled and spoiled. She didn’t want a family vacation; she wanted free babysitting, and the idea she would take advantage of your wife on a milestone anniversary trip makes her a jerk. Enjoy the quiet; she’ll be back when she needs something. Congratulations on your 40th.”

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