Is it okay to share someone’s medical history with someone else without their consent? Probably not. But what if you didn’t even consider the other person not knowing it already because both of them were going to tie the knot soon and that’s the most basic conversation they should’ve had before?
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for breaking my sister’s engagement?”. Here’s the full story for your context.
Backstory
Original Poster, OP’s (M37) sister (F29) recently got engaged to ‘the love of her life’. OP calls him Derek (M34).
They’ve been dating for about a year and a half and they, the family, have gotten to know Derek since the beginning of this year.
The Engagement Announcement
They all love Derek. Especially OP and his dad, they watch F1 every weekend together with the rest of their friends.
The engagement was announced about 3 weeks ago, they were all obviously excited.
What Happened Two Weeks Ago?
Two weeks ago at the last GP, OP was talking to Derek and at some point, (reason OP thinks he might be a jerk) OP’s mind slipped, and he said something along the lines of: “It’s great you found someone you love so much you would abandon having children.”
OP’s Sister’s Medical History
Sadly OP’s sister had to fight a battle with ovarian cancer when she was 16-17 which resulted in the surgical removal of her ovaries and from what he understands part of her uterus.
Now OP didn’t think much about his comment. BUT TURNS OUT SHE NEVER DISCUSSED THIS WITH HIM. It was like OP dropped a nuclear bomb of information. He said now it made sense why she always avoided discussing children.
The Obvious Result
Well needless to say. The engagement broke, and they have now separated. And in the eyes of my sister and mother, OP is the jerk who separated his sister from the love of her life.
So, what do you think? Is OP really the jerk?
Everyone’s A Jerk Here
“Everyone’s a jerk here – obviously your sister shouldn’t have lied and should be honest with him, so it’s her fault the engagement ended, but also what a bad thing to say to someone.
Like not having children is some huge burden and that your sister needed to do more to justify him marrying her because of her ovarian cancer.”
Such Poor Choice Of Words
“Why would you say it like that?? ‘Abandon having children?’ It makes it sound like you think your sister is damaged goods. Obviously, your sister is also a jerk for not telling her fiancé. Poor dude.”
You Had No Idea About It At All
“Not the jerk – First of all, you had no idea. That alone makes you not a jerk.
Furthermore, your sister omitted a HUGE THING from this dude. Can they adopt? Yes. Can they use a surrogate? Sure. But can the poor guy forgive her for never telling him something so monumental? Nope. Trust is gone. You.”
You Both Are In The Wrong
“Everyone’s in the wrong. Your sister built a house of cards by avoiding the topic for a year and a half. It can safely be said she made a lie of omission to him by not disclosing that.
That said, you shouldn’t be sharing someone’s medical history with others unless they’ve said it’s ok to do so.”
They’re Using You As A Scapegoat
“Not the jerk. You didn’t know she hadn’t told him, and frankly, that’s really a conversation they should have had before getting engaged. Your sister and mother are using you as a scapegoat.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.