Imagine being asked to undergo a cosmetic procedure on your face to look “good” in someone’s wedding pictures.

An internet user asked, “Will I be a jerk if I didn’t get a mole removed for my friend’s wedding?”. We need to know your take on the matter.


Wedding decoration
Image Credit; Deposit Photos

The Original Poster’s (OP’s) (24F) friend “Zoe” (25F) is getting married, and OP is set to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, which is early next year. 

“I am excited for the wedding and am doing everything I can to help her with planning and setting up,” says OP.


Image Credits: Antonio Guillem, Shutterstock

Recently, Zoe asked OP out for coffee, away from the other bridesmaids, as she said she wanted to talk to her about something privately. OP agreed and asked her if something was wrong. 

“She said it was nothing huge, and she just wanted to talk to me,” says OP. 


Image Credits: Anetlanda, Shutterstock

OP met up with Zoe the other day, as she asked. It was there that she told OP that she wanted her to get the mole on her face removed before the wedding. 

“I have a mole on my right cheek near my nose. It’s not huge, but it’s noticeable”, says OP. 


friends fight girl
Image Credit: lightwavemedia, Shutterstock.

Zoe explained that she wanted everyone to look good in the wedding photos and on the wedding day (which OP finds understandable), that the mole on OP’s face would be a distraction, and that OP wouldn’t look good.


Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

Zoe also said that she would pay for the surgery out of pocket, as she could afford it, and all OP would have to do is go in and get it removed. She told Zoe that she needed time to think about it. 

Zoe said she understood, but she also let OP know that it would be mandatory for her (OP) to have the procedure to be a bridesmaid. OP said that she would get back to her.


Young, pretty woman with a funny facial expression is surprised and puzzled and raises her hands in confusion. Isolated on white background. Close-up.
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OP is conflicted on this because she has had times where she’s been insecure about her mole, and Zoe wasn’t lying when she said that it distracts from her face.

“So, if she was asking me to remove it, it may be better in the long run, and she’s paying for it,” says OP. 


Photo of charming young angry girl wear blue sarafan confused staring please explain how you lost car isolated on beige color background.
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However, OP doesn’t know if she wants such a procedure done to her face, so she’s thinking about not going through with it. 

“But Zoe is my friend, and more importantly, she’s the bride, and I want her to have the best day, which is why I think I may be a jerk if I didn’t go through with it. Would I be wrong if I didn’t get the mole on my face removed?” asks OP. 


7. angry confused woman
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“Not the jerk. Bridesmaids aren’t accessories; you don’t get to body-modify them for your aesthetic.”


Young caucasian woman isolated on pink background screaming to the sky, looking up, frustrated.
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“Not the jerk. If you want the mole removed because it matters to you, and she wants to foot the bill, go ahead (get it paid up front). However, don’t do it if you are doing it for her. It’s a ridiculous and unreasonable request.”


Beautiful young caucasian woman wearing casual winter sweater disgusted expression, displeased and fearful doing disgust face because aversion reaction. with hands raised
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“Not the jerk, and Zoe is not a good friend with how she is acting. If I were you, I wouldn’t want to attend this wedding anymore.”


young pretty woman screaming in panic or anger, shocked, terrified or furious, with hands next to head
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“Not the jerk. Your ‘friend’ is such a selfish jerk. What kind of person asks their friend to have cosmetic surgery so they aren’t distracting people at the wedding? If I were you, I would tell Zoe to find a new bridesmaid and friend.” 


portrait of a woman makeup posing naked shoulders hairstyle cropped view. High quality photo
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“You wouldn’t be the jerk, but it’s nothing to fear. It’s a simple procedure and may help your self-esteem. But it’s still your choice, whatever your friend says about it. 

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