Poor behavior cannot be given a pass in the light of being a “cultural” thing specific to a particular place. A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for uninviting my best friend’s boyfriend from my wedding?”. We need to hear your thoughts!
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster (OP) (23F) got engaged two years ago. Her wedding will take place this December. OP’s best friend (22F), also her maid of honor, got a new boyfriend a few weeks ago. She asked OP if he could join her at my wedding.
“We have enough space and budget, so I told her yes, but my fiancé (23M) and I will have to meet him first, and she agreed”, says OP.
THE DINNER
The four of them went out to dinner that weekend, and he seemed nice, so they invited him to the wedding, which he accepted.
WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY?
Yesterday was OP’s wedding shower, and OP’s best friend and boyfriend attended. Everything went fine until he started vocalizing his opinions on OP and OP’s fiancé’s family.
THE SNARKY COMMENTS BEGAN
The party was held at OP’s future Sister-In-Law’s (SIL’s) house, where he started making snide comments.
“Wow, your kitchen’s so tiny! I can barely move around here.”
“Living room’s a bit of a mess. Maybe you should let SIL’s husband bring home the bacon, and you can stay here and clean up.”
“Your grass is so overgrown! Don’t you have any pride in the integrity of your home?”
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
OP’s fiancé asked her SIL if she wanted him to say anything, to which she replied that it was alright and she didn’t want to start a conflict. Five minutes later, the guy was back at it.
OP’s older sister and her husband recently had their first child, a baby boy who is now two months old. OP’s parents were cooing at the baby when the guy came up to him.
“Is this the new baby? Let’s hope God is on his side, and he doesn’t look this messed up when he grows up.” He said, followed by a burst of laughter.
THEY DECIDED TO UNINVITE HIM
She (OP) was about to tell him off, but OP’s sister told her not to because she didn’t want to make a scene.
“I didn’t agree, but I talked to my fiancé, and we both agreed that he would no longer be allowed at our wedding. I decided to tell my best friend after the party”, says OP.
THE LAST STRAW
The last straw was when he started being this way toward OP’s younger sister (8F). She is the flower girl at her wedding.
“Aww, what a cute dress! Of course, she should probably lose some weight before the wedding.” Followed by more obnoxious laughter.
OP LOST HER TEMPER
She (OP) lost her mind. She called him an imbecile, and her fiancé told him he needed to get lost. “Five minutes of yelling and fighting later, he and my best friend got in their car and started driving off. Not before he flipped us off out the window, though”, says OP.
WHEN OP RETURNED HOME
When OP returned home from the shower and checked her phone, she saw hundreds of angry texts from her best friend.
“I won’t recite all of them, but most were along the lines of people acting differently from where he is from and that I need to get over my easily offended attitude. He is from somewhere in the United Kingdom (UK).
Everyone else at the party agrees with me and my fiancé. But my best friend is distraught with me and refuses to attend my wedding if he won’t be there. I don’t know what to do. Am I a jerk?” asks OP.
THAT’S A NONSENSE EXCUSE
“Not the jerk. It’s your wedding, and no one has any implicit right to be there. You can uninvite them for any reason.
Either way, you had plenty of reason to, given his behavior. I’m also from the UK, and the culture thing is a stupid excuse. That is not normal here, and don’t let them tell you otherwise.”
YOU’VE MADE THE RIGHT DECISION
“Not the jerk. Is your best friend your friend, or is she in complete and utter denial about how rude and abusive her boyfriend is? If she decides not to attend your wedding because you uninvited him, that’s on her. Sorry that you are going through this. Stand your ground, and you’ve made the right decision.”
HE WAS DISRESPECTFUL
“He was rude and disrespectful; he doesn’t deserve to be at the wedding, and if your friend can’t see that, then she doesn’t deserve to be there either.
Like wow. I would have had your friend’s boyfriend out for a long time because he went way too far. Nowhere in the world is being this disrespectful, okay? You are not a jerk.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.