This is a question that many couples may face at some point in their relationship. On the one hand, it may seem unfair for one person to bear the entire financial burden of hosting their partner. On the other hand, some couples may view it as perfectly normal to share expenses, especially if they are planning a longer or more expensive trip.
A user asked the forum, Am I a jerk for expecting my girlfriend to pay for her stay at my family’s cabin?
BACK STORY
The original poster’s grandparents own a big old cabin where every generation after them has enjoyed annual family vacations.
Due to the cabin’s age, constant maintenance needs to be done. Every time they have replaced, fixed, or repaired something, another thing needs fixing. They also started slowly renovating the cabin as the interior had become outdated.
THEY BECAME OLD
OP says those costs have become too much for my grandparents to handle alone, especially since their age means they can’t do much of the work themselves, and they need to hire professionals instead.
This has caused them to implement a fee system.
THE RULE IS IMPLEMENTED
The rule is every person from the age of 20 must pay an annual fee to be allowed to stay at the cabin.
He says that the size of the fee varies as it is calculated according to how many people plan on using the cabin and how high the upkeep costs were the previous year.
HE PAID HAPPILY
He has happily paid this fee since the rule was implemented, and so have his parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
Every summer, OP’s extended family tries to find a weekend during the summer when most of their vacations overlap so that they can all meet at the cabin and catch up.
INVITED HIS GIRLFRIEND
OP decided to invite his girlfriend along as he wanted to introduce her to this tradition, as she is someone he imagined spending many future summers at the cabin with.
He says that she was ecstatic about meeting his extended family and going to the cabin, as she’s very curious about it after hearing him talk about it a lot.
HE TOLD HER THE RULE
OP sat her down and told her about the rule and how she needed to pay, as everyone else paid, and it was only fair for her to do so since she would be using the cabin when coming with me that year.
He says that a year’s fee is around $200-400, depending on how many people use the cabin)due to a big roof leak and some substantial water damage.
SHE BECAME UPSET
He also addressed that the idea of paying this fee upset her, and they had a big argument which she concluded by saying she would make other plans without him that summer.
OP says that the rule is straightforward and made completely fair to everyone.
And he doesn’t understand why she thinks she should be exempt from it.
OP THINKS SHE IS CAPABLE OF PAYING THE RENT
His brother told him that he should just pay the fee for her as his extended family would like to meet her, but OP doesn’t think that it’s fair for him to pay double the fee when she can pay it herself.
OP asks if he is being a jerk
IT IS A BROKEN CABIN
“She’s perfectly within her rights not to want to spend 200-400 dollars for a weekend at a shared, broken-down cabin. It’s not her family’s property, she has no emotional attachments to it, and she may never reap the benefits of fixing it up.”
THE PRICE IS TOO HIGH
“$200-$400 for the pleasure of staying in a broken down cabin with a leaky roof; I can not imagine how moldy it smells. No thanks.”
IT’S OP’S RESPONSIBILITY
“Exactly, OP says it’s her responsibility if she wants to visit? No, it’s OPs responsibility, as he is bringing his GF as a guest!?
When you invite your GF for supper, too, you get her to pay for half the ingredients and your time?”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.