Dating is complex, and when women act strange and mysterious, it adds to the difficulties. The internet discusses things that men find difficult when dating women.
FLAKINESS
“Escalating from text to meetup. Most of my wasted time was dealing with flakiness.”
“I love when you talk to a girl every day for like a week or two, and then you ask if they wanna go out for an actual date, and they flake/unmatch/shut down, etc. Like, why talk to me at all, then? Just to waste each other’s time/thoughts? So stupid”
MAKING “ALL” THE CONVERSATION
“Trying to find a topic to help start and keep a conversation going.”
“Went on a date and she asked me a great question – what’s a song or album that brings back a specific memory from childhood? Great conversation starter. You can talk about the music or the memories they’re tied to and why.
I’d tell her I forgot the artist but can find the music video, and then Rick Rolls her right there. We would both laugh and then get married. Rick Rolls do it every time.”
NOT MATCHING THE ENERGY OR NOT HAVING ANY
“This one is so important. I texted with one girl recently for a few weeks (which is much longer than I usually do), and sometimes I thought she lost interest because she wouldn’t respond until a day or two later, but she kept showing genuine interest in our conversation which surprised me.
She even apologized once for responding late, and I said it was no big deal; I was patient with her. Eventually, we got on a date, it wasn’t bad, but there was some semi-awkward silence towards the end, which I don’t mind since I’m a reserved guy who appreciates the quiet.
Anyhow we keep texting a little for a few days until she ghosts me. I thought ok, maybe wait 2 days bc this has happened before, as I mentioned, but after seeing how she was often online on Instagram and never responded to my dm there, I knew it was over. I’m not going to lie, it hurt quite a bit because I thought I finally found someone compatible with me…
The entire road of talking to her was full of ups and downs, and I could never tell what she felt for me. Just made me have to guess, wait, and hope, and the duration of our talking stage made the ghosting hurt so much more than it usually does. I just wish at least one woman would say as little as, “hey, I didn’t feel a spark, but it was nice seeing you,” or something along those lines instead of playing these stupid games.
KEEPING THEM AS AN OPTION
“Being just an option. I’m pretty sure this was my situation, and when I confessed that I really liked her, I was met with her being upset with me, lol. I stopped talking to her, and I still don’t understand”
GAUGING INTEREST
“Gauging interest. I’ve gone on three dates many times, but I still don’t know if they’re into me.”
DIFFICULTY GETTING THE DATE
“Getting the date. Just meeting women and being seen as a romantic option to them. But generally dislike how indirect and passive they can be.”
CONSTANTLY MAKING EFFORTS
PROVING THEMSELVES
“Having to prove that I’m not the same as whoever hurt them. It’s totally understandable why most women have their guard up, as most have been hurt by someone.
That’s not to say that most men are terrible, but rather that the ones who are deeply affected the women they hurt, and that leaves the rest of us to gain their trust. Worst of all, some women will never ever trust again. It’s painful all around.”
EXPECTING THE MAN TO CARRY THE CONVERSATION
“The woman expects the man to carry the whole conversation when she adds nothing to it and doesn’t talk at all. Like, why did you agree to a date in the first place, then, if you’re silent?”
GAMES
“The games they play, indifference, lack of communication, being less than forthright.”
ENTITLEMENT
“Just the entitlement, like they expect somebody that’s way above their own effort and ambition without working for any of it.”
EXPECTING THE MAN TO COURT
“Women that expect you as the Man to “court” her, which translates to you putting In 200% of the effort while she essentially just exists and does nothing.
Including but not limited to being expected to start and carry every conversation, plan all the dates, and put her on a pedestal before she ever considers doing anything to reciprocate.”
BEING JUDGED FOR SHOWING EMOTIONS
“Showing emotions. You show too many she thinks you’re weak, not enough, and emotionally unintelligent. Can’t win.”
LACK OF LOYALTY
“Them staying loyal. They will find any reason to go on to the next man. She’s not yours; it’s just your turn. Just be the best version of yourself for yourself and enjoy what comes your way, bros. Focus on yourself and yours, and you’ll be fine. The ones that stick around are worth keeping.”
HIDING YOUR FLAWS AND TRYING TO BE “PERFECT”
“The most difficult part is how much people try to hide their flaws and be on their ‘best behavior.’ I understand not immediately getting into some topics, but I tend to represent myself as my flawed self.
The idea behind my thinking is that I do not hide less desirable aspects of my personality or experiences. If there’s something about me that’s a ‘dealbreaker,’ I would instead them figure it out sooner rather than later so we do not waste each other’s time.”
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This article originally appeared on Mrs. Daaku Studio