When your partner takes a day off, it’s natural to expect that they will help out around the house. After all, you both live there and you both have responsibilities. But what happens when your partner takes a day off and refuses to help with chores?
A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for telling my wife it’s her job to babysit the kids and leave the house?”. Read the complete story to decide if he is wrong.
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster (OP) (35m) has been married to his wife (32f) for seven years.
They have two children together (6m) and (3f).
She takes care of the house and babysits the kids most of the time because she’s a SAHM but they evenly split chores and childcare on weekends and when he gets back home from work.
HIS WIFE IS SOCIAL
His wife is much more social than he is.
They moved to her home state from his home state because she wanted to be closer to her parents and her childhood friends.
HIS WIFE’S TRIPS
Now, she is a lot more social than he was. He says his wife goes on 3-4 girls’ trips a year.
WHAT DID OP SAY ABOUT IT?
He has no issues with that and was happy to babysit the kids full-time in her absence.
WHAT WAS OP’S PERSONALITY?
He says he was more of a homebody anyway so he usually likes to just paint in the spare room or play video games occasionally instead of traveling out of state.
He doesn’t take time off from work unless they do something as a family.
WHAT HAS BEEN HIS WORK LATELY?
For the past 3-4 months, he has been very busy on a major project at work.
He says that he has been working 60-hour weeks and was exhausted by the stress.
TAKING A DAY OFF
So when the project was finally ending, he told his wife that he was taking a day off and wouldn’t be doing any work around the house.
He said he would still clean up after himself, but he didn’t want to do any chores or childcare that day. He told his wife that two weeks in advance, and she agreed.
He also reminded her three days before.
WHAT DID HIS WIFE DO?
However, when that day came, his wife “forgot” about their agreement.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
He was in the painting room, and his wife interrupted him, telling him she needed him to bathe their daughter because she spilled milk all over herself and couldn’t do it because she had to wash the dishes.
It was annoying, but whatever, it happens.
AGAIN AN INTERRUPTION
Later on, when he was playing video games, his wife told him that their son needed help with his math homework.
HIS WIFE’S REASONING
He asked his wife why she couldn’t help him; she said it was because she had some “work” to do.
This work was her best friend coming over and chatting for an hour.
HOW DOES OP FEEL?
He got angry so after he helped his son and her best friend left, he told his wife that he was leaving the house for 4-5 hours.
She asked him where he was going; he told her he would just chill in the park and do whatever.
WHAT DID HIS WIFE TELL?
But then she said he needed him to help with the chores and the kids.
He told his wife that today was his day off from all work, including housework, and it was her job to babysit the kids before he left the house.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
When he returned, she was acting cold and called him a jerk for abandoning her and the kids. He thinks she’s being dramatic, but when he spoke to his sister, she said parenting is a 24/7 job.
He asks if he is a jerk.
BOOK A VACATION
“She takes “girls trips”, you get to take a day off. Next time, book a vacation.”
WHY CAN’T YOU TAKE A DAY OFF?
“Wife gets to travel for whole weekends; dude can’t have a day?”
SHE NEEDS TO RESPECT YOU
“She gets her downtime by traveling with her friends, this is your way of getting downtime, and you just happened to do it at home. She needs to respect this.
Then you are a jerk crowd will just jump on your use of the word babysitting.”
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