What’s something you won’t tolerate in a relationship under any circumstances?
A netizen recently asked, “What is your deal breaker in a relationship no matter how long it is?”. Below, we’ve curated the top responses:
Domestic Violence
“I want to add too that domestic violence can mean far more than only physical violence and what’s typically expected, things like controlling, demeaning, humiliating, threatening behaviors as well as verbal assaults, sexual coercion and assault, as well as tracking or monitoring behaviors to name but a few are all a part of domestic violence and shouldn’t be tolerated.”
Any Of The 3 A’s
“Any of the 3 A’s – affairs, abuse, or addiction.”, said one.
“This right here. Told my husband before we got married that if he crossed these lines I would be gone. There may be forgiveness depending on the situation, but there’s no relationship between us. If he wasn’t okay with that then let’s not do this.”, another added.
Lack Of Humor
“Smaller one here, but, lack of humor. My ex never laughed, never tried to make me laugh, it was always so awkward talking to her. I’d say jokes and she wouldn’t catch any of them. It taught me that I can NOT have a relationship with someone that doesn’t want to humor each other.”&
Being In Love With A Past Lover
“Still being in love with a past lover.”, said one.
“I’ve suffered through that one. She definitely was in love with me, we were together on and off for many years, lived together, and are still mutually attracted. But she was still very much in love with her first love.
I was young and immature and didn’t handle it well, but I am not sure I would be able to now either. I don’t think there is anything wrong with this situation per se, I just know I can’t deal with it at all.”, another added.
Lack Of Respect
“Same, just generally not understanding that I am a person with feelings, wants, and desires. I’m not an accessory or a toy.
Cheating
“Cheating. My heart and mind switch off when someone cheats on me.”, said one.
“They literally become repulsive to me, like I get the ick. And I certainly am NOT turned on by cheaters, I’ve never gone to bed with a person who is like, It’s so hot you’re unavailable. That’s just gross.”, another added.
Gaslighting
“Gaslighting and making you feel a bad person.”, said one.
“And it can be so hard to recognise. Took over a year of therapy to get to the point of ending that relationship.”, another added.&
Bad Hygiene
“Bad dental/oral hygiene”, said one.
“Bad hygiene in general. I honestly have a really bad habit of looking at people’s ears. The amount of people who don’t wash their ears while showering is disturbing.
Once you notice one dirty ear, you notice everyone’s.”
Mind Games
“Mind games, ‘tests’, suspicion and possessiveness/jealousy. You can make a relationship work in spite of them. But I’m done with that whole song and dance.”
Lack Of Communication
“Lack of communication. I want to be able to talk to my partner about anything and everything, full stop. If they shut me down, change the subject or otherwise avoid something I want to talk about, that’s an instant no-go.”
Smoking
“Apart from the obvious, a deal breaker for me is smoking. I hate the smell and there’s zero reason to start smoking if you’ve been a non-smoker before soooo…you smoke, you leave.”
Wanting Children
“I’m glad most child-free people have the common sense to have this deal breaker because I’ve seen what happens when someone dates/marries someone with kids despite not liking that they have kids…it’s not pretty…”
Having Conflicting Religious Views
“Aside from the 3 As in the top comments for me it’s having conflicting religious views.”, said one.
“Some can make it work (I guess if they don’t make it a huge thing in their life) but I would have a bad time with anyone who is overly religious. Period.”, another added.
Texting While Driving
“Texting while driving. I see way too many people do that. It annoys me like crazy.”
Infidelity
“Me too – infidelity. That means instant termination of the relationship. Not negotiable.
Being A Racist/Homophobe
“After 2 years I found out he was a raging racist and a homophobe. That was a deal breaker.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.