Trauma must never be left untreated. Because when you do that, more often than not, the situation escalates!

A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for thinking my husband was objectifying our daughter?”. We’d like to know what you think!


Image Credits: Violator22, Shutterstock

The Original Poster (OP) and her husband have a daughter who is 13. Her father abused OP from the time she was 12 up until he accidentally got her pregnant at 15, and OP went to live with her aunt.


The concept of family problems, difficulties, relationships, talks disgruntled husband and wife in a room on the sofa. They are directly in front of the camera in different poses.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP has a lot of unresolved trauma, but because of this trauma, she was extra careful when it came to changing the diaper for her daughter. Her husband rarely changed a diaper or gave her baths, as OP was weary about leaving them alone together even though her husband never gave her a reason not to.

“I stole a lot from my husband, which is when I finally agreed to therapy about nine years ago. I was in it for a few years.”, says OP. 


Caucasian mother and preteen daughter arguing while setting on bed an master bedroom
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

A few days ago, OP’s daughter asked OP and her husband if they thought she could get some more adult underwear. She said the girls in the locker room looked at her weirdly for her childish underwear.

OP said no to her request, but her husband thought maybe it was time for her to upgrade her wardrobe.


7. angry confused woman
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

This triggered OP.

When her daughter left the room, she asked her husband why he thought it was okay to buy their daughter adult underwear. She also asked him not to make decisions on their daughter’s underwear and not tell her that she should wear more adult underwear.


Young couple having argument at home
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP’s husband got upset and said she was in middle school now, and he didn’t want her to be bullied, and that OP couldn’t start this again.

He then said she needed to stop thinking of him as this monster because he’s her father and that if these episodes were to start again, OP was required to return to therapy.


Young confused man shrugging shoulders, spreading hands isolated on pink background. Studio shot
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“I feel as though, knowing my trauma, he shouldn’t get so angry and demand me to return to therapy. I have every right to be cautious. Am I a jerk?” asks OP. 


Portrait of beautiful young angry woman on white background
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“You’re the jerk. You need to go back to therapy and stop treating your husband like a child abuser. Wearing ‘adult underwear’ is fine at 13. It doesn’t mean anything at all. It’s normal to want some nice underwear. Take her and get her some new underwear. It’s not like she asked for anything inappropriate.”


Emotional woman gestures with her hands discontent gray background. High quality photo
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“You’re the jerk; it wasn’t objectification until you made it that way. So yes, you need to go back to therapy. Your husband is a parent, and you’re making him out to be a monster. I get the trauma aspect, but you need to get a handle on managing that piece.” 


young handsome man pointing forward at camera with both fingers and angry expression, telling you to do your duty against orange wall
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“You’re the jerk. Your kid is getting made fun of. He’s trying to avoid that based on her request. You need to work through this; your husband isn’t your abuser, and it is wildly unacceptable to accuse him of that when he didn’t do anything.”


young pretty woman feeling clueless, confused and uncertain about which option to pick, trying to solve the problem
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“You’re the jerk. You should never have had children if you couldn’t trust their father and would constantly accuse him of being a predator. 

Your husband has every right to decide about his daughter; your daughter has a good point (and it sounds like you’re infantilizing her). You need to return to therapy.”


young pretty woman looking angry, annoyed and frustrated screaming wtf or what’s wrong with you against gray background.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“You’re the jerk. Your trauma is your problem. No one has to accommodate your paranoia. You need to return to therapy before you end up without a husband.”


Young woman standing over isolated background angry and mad raising fists frustrated and furious while shouting with anger. rage and aggressive concept.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“First off, I’m sorry that happened to you. I can see why you’re so sensitive to the issue and protective of your daughter. That said, your husband is correct. 

It was your daughter who broached the subject and wanted to make the change. You’re projecting your past onto your husband. You all deserve a life free from your trauma. Please talk with someone. You need to be free of it as best you can. You all deserve to be happy. Much love to you all.”

More From Mrs Daaku Studio

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

Mother loses her calm as Son refuses to help with younger siblings on a vacation. Says “If You Cannot Help The Woman That Birthed You, Get Out and Pay For Yourself”. Thinks It’s Fair. Read what happened here. 

Father Corrects Teacher’s Pronunciation of Daughter’s Name; School Accuses Him of ‘Questioning Authority’. Is This Ok?

Girl looking desperate about angry mother. Mother shouting to unhappy daughter.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

A father has to deal with school authorities who accused him of questioning authority. says, the only thing he did was correct pronunciation. Read: Father Corrects Teacher’s Pronunciation of Daughter’s Name; School Accuses Him of ‘Questioning Authority’. Is This Ok?

Her Family Invites Her Over and asks NOT To Bring Her Adopted Kid. Suggest “Sending Her To Sleep Away Camp.” Is This Justified?

Wrong behaviour. Aggressive angty mother and father screaming on a kid while being in a room
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

What do you do if your family isn’t supportive of the adopted child you have? Read – Her Family Invites Her Over, Asks NOT To Bring Her Adopted Kid. Suggest “Sending Her To Sleep Away Camp”. Is This Justified?

Wife Decides To Teach Son’s A Lesson, Cuts Short Vacation Time To 1 Day. Husband and Mother-in-Law ACCUSE Her Of “Ruining It”; Give Silent Treatment. Is She Right?

Really annoyed man in black t-shirt against grey background
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

The wife decides that she needs to teach Son’s a lesson, and cuts short vacation time to 1 day. Their husband and mother-in-law accuse her of “ruining it” and give the silent treatment. Is she right? We definitely think so. Read what happened.

Boyfriend Furious As Girlfriend Takes His 1967 Impala To Scrapyard Behind His Back. Says, “I’ll Sue You and Make You Pay”. Is This Really Messed Up?

angry hatred
Image Credits: Roman Samborskyi, Shutterstock

Boyfriend furious as girlfriend takes his 1967 impala to scrapyard behind his back. Says, “I’ll Sue you and make you pay”. Is this really messed up? Read what happened here.

This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.

Similar Posts