Is it okay to use a wedding ring from a past relationship again? Giving and receiving wedding rings is a special way of showing love and commitment between two people. This choice is very personal and should be made by the couple in the relationship.
An internet user asked, Am I a jerk for wanting to reuse my handmade wedding ring? Read on to know what happened.
Backstory:
So here’s the deal. OP (38M) is in a relationship with his girlfriend (35F), and they’ve been seriously discussing marriage recently. OP was married once before, which ended 7 years ago when his ex-wife decided she wanted a different life.
A Relevant Detail
A relevant detail is that OP had made his wedding ring for his previous marriage. He thinks it’s a beautiful piece, and he’s incredibly proud of it. In the past, he was proud because it was a symbol of a significant period of his life, now, he’s proud of it because it’s one of the few nice things he has built with his own hands that he got to keep for himself.
OP says, “When my marriage ended, I stopped wearing the ring, but I still valued it for what it represented to me.”
When Did The Issue Arise?
So, the issue arose when OP suggested to his current girlfriend that he would like to use the same ring for their marriage. She was really upset.
She had always known about the ring and acknowledged its aesthetic value, but to her, the ring is a symbol of OP’s past relationship with his ex. She’s hurt that OP would even consider reusing the ring for their potential marriage.
What Does OP Say?
OP says, “It’s worth mentioning that she still owns her engagement ring from a previous relationship and has been saying she’ll sell it since I’ve known her, but it hasn’t happened yet. However, I’m not comparing our situations directly. I do understand her feelings about my ring. The thing is, her reaction was so strong that it took me by surprise.
So, Am I a jerk for wanting to reuse my handmade wedding ring from my previous marriage?”
You DON’T Reuse Certain Things From Previous Relationships
“There are things you reuse from previous relationships. Things like sofas, lawnmowers, or other assorted home and garden furnishings. You may continue to wear the clothes she bought for you.You do not reuse: his and her towels, wedding rings.”
Good God! Go Make A New Ring
“Good god, make a NEW RING if you want something beautiful and handmade. Melt the old one down and remake it if you like the symbolism of that. Under no circumstances should you get remarried with the same wedding ring.
You seem like the kind of groom who might want to rehearse the name he says at the altar, or there could be trouble.”
On Top Of It, You’re Dismissing Her Feelings?!
“Wedding bands hold significant meaning, and I think it’s kinda grim to reuse a band for multiple marriages.
What’s more important is that she doesn’t want you to use it, and you’re being very dismissive of her feelings.”
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