Throughout history, parents have given their children a vast array of names, ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous. While some names are timeless and universally appealing, others are so outlandish that they can only be described as dumb.
A user asked the forum, what is the dumbest name you’ve ever heard someone give their child? Here are the common responses.
BLESSED AND SAVED
“I knew a Christian family once who named their first two kids Blessed and Saved, then the rest had normal names.”
“The mother thought she had made it up. Said it sounded pretty. I think she spelled it Tiranni.”
“Orange. It’s not a translation or a nickname but after the fruit itself. People keep thinking his name is George, and he’s just too young to pronounce it correctly, but nope, his parents got their inspiration from the produce department.”
“I do contract-based IT work, implementation when hospitals buy each other out, stuff like that. Last week I was working with an office manager named MORONICA.”
“Wife worked in a bank. Had a regular customer named Dextrose. Always wondered if he had siblings Sucrose and Fructose.”
“Dracula. The parents were young meth heads, and thankfully the nurses said Drake sounds much better, and it’s a short version of Dracula after the boy was born.
Drake is alive and well, now 18 years old; parents quit the meth years ago, kinda still a messed up family.”
“When my child was born, the people in the room next to us named their kid Pikachu. You read that right. Pikachu. After the Pokemon.”
“Kerosene. And she would always add ‘like the gas’. Mom was young and goth.”
FREEDOM AND FRIENDSHIP
“I knew a pair of twin boys in elementary school named Freedom and Friendship.”
“Scotthew. I worked in labor and delivery. We had a pair of stoners who couldn’t decide between Scott and Matthew, so they just merged the two. Honestly, it’s just one of many dumb ones I encountered.”
“There was a woman who used to cut my hair named Secretia….like secretion.”
“A woman at my old bank was named Coral Reef. She seemed fine with it, but whatever were her parents thinking.”
CINNAMON, ROSEMARY, AND PAPRIKA
“I knew triplets named Cinnamon, Rosemary, and Paprika. People called them ‘The Spice Girls’.”
“One of the worst that comes to mind in recent times, Jizzelle. The person’s name was, honest to god, Jizzelle.”
“Like actual animated characters: -Goku -Sephiroth. Good luck to those kids.”
DORAL AND VICEROY
“I once met a woman who named her sons Doral and Viceroy. I asked her, “Like the cigarettes?” She said, “Yes, those were my daddy’s favorite smokes.”
“Felonie. I’ve been downvoted a lot on Reddit for sharing this because people never believe it’s a real name someone would give a kid. But it is LOL.”
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The article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.