Manhood. It’s a complex concept, often shrouded in stereotypes and misconceptions. But beneath the surface lies a set of unwritten rules, passed down through generations, that guide men in their journey through life.
NOT TO LET THE BOY INSIDE OF THE MAN DIE
Holding onto the boy within keeps a man playful, curious, and open to new experiences. It reminds him to embrace joy and wonder, balancing responsibility with the freedom to chase dreams and laughter.
A user says, “Don’t ever let the boy inside of the man die. If the boy dies, there will be nothing left.”
TAKE CARE OF MALE FRIENDS
Men often hesitate to openly express emotions, making it crucial to keep an eye on your male friends. Notice subtle changes in their behavior, mood, or communication. Lend a supportive ear without judgment, offering a safe space to share their struggles and encouraging them to seek help. Remember, a friend in need is a friend indeed, especially when navigating life’s challenges.
A user says, “Keep an eye on your male friends. Especially ones that may be lonely. It’s essential to check in with them to ensure they are ok. There’s usually a wall to get through – but you need to try.I’ve learned this over the years. You genuinely don’t know who’s suffering until you dig a little. Lots of men don’t have support systems or don’t seek it out due to a stigma around male mental health.”
OBSERVE AND GIVE REMARKS
Observing and commenting allow a man to gather information, analyze the situation, and offer valuable insights or solutions. This active engagement demonstrates his awareness, critical thinking, and willingness to contribute, fostering respect and trust within his circle.
A user says, “After a certain age, you should walk slowly with one hand, grabbing the other behind your back. It is also acceptable to stand in this position while observing something and make general remarks about the situation you’re observing.”
OFFER HELP IN MOVING HEAVY FURNITURE
Historically, men were seen as physically more robust and responsible for manual labor tasks. This association led to the expectation that men would step up and offer assistance, especially with physically demanding activities like moving furniture.
A user says, “Always offer to help move heavy furniture, even if you secretly hope they say no.”
BE A DAD FOR YOUNG WOMEN
The expectation for older men to act as “dads” for younger women can stem from outdated social norms and power dynamics. It can infantilize young women, assuming their lack of agency and imposing paternalistic control.
A user says, “When you get to the age, when you are an older man around hot, younger women- be a “Dad” and not a “jerk” when they look up to you. You will get a lot more respect.
NOT TO TALK ABOUT OTHER WOMEN
While traditionally seen as polite, refraining from negativity about other women benefits both men and the community. It avoids perpetuating harmful stereotypes and gossip, fostering a more respectful and inclusive environment where everyone is valued and appreciated.
A user says, “Never talk about a man’s wife or daughter.”
MEAT DUTY
Grilling has been associated with masculinity due to its connection to fire and hunting. A user says, “You are expected to at least be on meat duty; expect to be given unsolicited advice about how to BBQ/grill the meat.”
REPRESSING EMOTIONS
Societal expectations and traditional notions of masculinity often lead men to repress their emotions.
A user says, “Repressing emotions. I’ve been in recovery for some 15 years. I’ve heard every tale. But one of the most classic stories is about some dude who’s been drinking to put up a front to his family, the breadwinner. He comes to an AA meeting for the first time and decides to confess he can’t handle it. I’ve had so, so, so many men cry on my shoulder. “Tough guys” and all. To me, it never comes across as powerlessness. But it’s admitting one place.
It’s now my position that bundling up fears is just a fear of being exposed. Truly strong men are upfront with vulnerabilities because, in the end, they have nothing to lose.”
ALWAYS HOLD THE DOOR
The tradition of men holding doors for their loved ones is rooted in notions of chivalry and respect. It symbolizes a desire to protect and care for those close to them, offering a small gesture of courtesy and kindness.
A user says, “Always hold the door for your significant other.”
NO MONEY, NO RESPECT
Societal expectations often attach worth to a man’s financial status, leading to feelings of abandonment and unlovedness when financial struggles arise. A user says, “If you can’t provide, you are unloved and abandoned.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.