{"id":18168,"date":"2023-10-18T03:00:10","date_gmt":"2023-10-17T21:30:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mrsdaakustudio.com\/?p=18168"},"modified":"2023-10-18T03:00:10","modified_gmt":"2023-10-17T21:30:10","slug":"the-mane-controversy-she-refused-to-allow-her-ex-husband-to-cut-their-daughters-hair-is-she-a-control-freak-or-just-protecting-her-daughters-autonomy-you-decide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mrsdaakuacademy.com\/the-mane-controversy-she-refused-to-allow-her-ex-husband-to-cut-their-daughters-hair-is-she-a-control-freak-or-just-protecting-her-daughters-autonomy-you-decide\/","title":{"rendered":"Father Unilaterally DECIDES To Cut Short Daughter’s Hair. Says, “I Won’t Buy Expensive Shampoo’s and Short Is What She Can Handle”. Wife Says NO. Is He A Jerk?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mothers can sometimes be controlling, and while this is not always a bad thing, it can cross a line when it becomes harmful to the child. A woman asks<\/a>, Am I a jerk for not allowing my ex-husband to cut our daughter\u2019s hair and \u201cgiving him no say in his daughter\u2019s problem\u201d? We want to hear from you. <\/p>\n

Backstory<\/h2>\n
\"Young
Image Credits: Deposit Photos<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The Original Poster’s (OP) ex-husband and she split ten years ago. They have a 16-year-old daughter, Brooke.<\/p>\n

She\u2019s mixed race (OP’s black, and her ex is white). Because of this, Brooke has always had trouble styling her hair, so she kept it relatively short. A couple of years ago, OP heard about the curly girl method, and since using some of those principles, Brooke was able to get her hair styled properly and make it look good, so she\u2019s grown it out since then.<\/p>\n

What Does Brooke\u2019s Hair Exactly Look Like?<\/h2>\n
\"Nice
Image Credits: Deposit Photos<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

OP says, “I don\u2019t feel comfortable posting pictures of her on an anonymous site like this, but for an idea of how it looks style and lengthwise, here is a [reference picture]<\/a>.”<\/p>\n

Brooke puts a lot of work in to get this result, and while it does require a lot of product and time, OP is okay with that. Her ex, however, doesn\u2019t want to spend the money on hair care products so when she is at his house, she doesn\u2019t use them. <\/p>\n

OP says, “That was fine because he only has her on alternating weekends, but I recently went on a vacation with some friends, and she stayed with him for 2 weeks.”<\/p>\n

What Happened After 2 Weeks?<\/h2>\n
\"Photo
Image Credits: Deposit Photos<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

After the 2 weeks, OP’s ex texted her and asked for permission to cut Brooke\u2019s hair short. OP was confused because she never indicated wanting to do that, so she asked him why. <\/p>\n

He Said It Looks Awful<\/h2>\n
\"OOPS
Image Credits: Deposit Photos<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

He said that her hair looked awful, and she was refusing to take care of it, wash it, or use any products in it. That also struck OP as odd, so she asked what products he meant, and he sent her a picture of some cheap Walmart shampoo and hair gel. He said he made her brush it, but it looked even worse. <\/p>\n

What Does OP Say<\/h2>\n
\"Woman
Image Credits: Deposit Photos<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

OP says, “I told him that he was an idiot. The cheap Walmart hair crap fries her hair, hair gel doesn\u2019t work with her hair, and of course, it looked bad when she brushed it; that\u2019s what happens when you brush curly hair.<\/p>\n

I gave him a list of the products she uses and told him to go to buy them so she can take care of her hair, but he refused, saying they were way too expensive and that he wanted to have her hair cut short because \u201cclearly that\u2019s the only length she can handle.\u201d<\/p>\n

To Be Continued On Social Media<\/h2>\n
\"\"
Image Credit: Makistock, ShutterStock<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

He made a Facebook post about how OP was enabling her daughter to \u201clook like a bum\u201d and not letting him \u201cfix the problem.\u201d A lot of his family and some of her family that still keep in touch with him told OP that she needed to accept that Brooke is his daughter too, and he gets a say in things. <\/p>\n

OP says, “I\u2019m sticking by my choice, and I\u2019m not going to let him cut Brooke\u2019s hair off unless she tells me that\u2019s what she wants to do.”<\/p>\n

Some More Context<\/h2>\n
\"Young,Girl,Listening,Music,In,Headphones,,Urban,Street,Style,outdoor,Street\"
Image Credits: sergey causelove, Shutterstock<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

OP later edited the post to add, “It seems I didn\u2019t do a great job explaining that Brooke doesn\u2019t want to cut her hair, and I\u2019m defending her, not saying she has to keep it. If she wanted to cut it, she could, but my ex wants to.”<\/p>\n

Is OP a jerk for not allowing her ex to cut her daughter\u2019s hair? Let’s find out what people had to say about it.<\/p>\n

She Could’ve Carried The Hair Products With Her<\/h2>\n
\"Portrait,Of,Perplexed,Asian,Kazakh,Girl,With,A,Dazed,Face\"
Image Credits: ivan_kislitsin, Shutterstock<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

“Why is Brooke not allowed to take her hair care products with her when she visits him?   Whenever I spend the night somewhere, I take my personal care products.   Make-up, hair, and skincare.”<\/p>\n

“Why didn’t you send the necessary products with her when she went to visit for 2 weeks? Then she could have taken care of her hair?”<\/p>\n

Let Brooke Decide <\/h2>\n
\"Casual
Image Credits: Deposit Photos.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

“The only person who gets a say about Brooke\u2019s hair is Brooke. I would suggest she takes her hair products with her if he doesn\u2019t buy some for her. Your ex needs education regarding hair care,” said one. <\/p>\n

“She\u2019s freaking 16! If she were 4 maybe he would have a point, but he\u2019s such a jerk for controlling a sixteen-year-old\u2019s hair!” another added. <\/p>\n

Thank You For Defending Her<\/h2>\n
\"Young
Image Credits: Deposit Photos<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

“At 16, she’s more than capable of deciding her hair length – she’s the only one that should have a say.  It would be so traumatic to be forced into a hairstyle you don’t want.  Good for you for protecting your daughter.”<\/p>\n

Show Him The Reality, Maybe?<\/h2>\n
\"Embarrassed
Image Credits: Deposit Photos<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

“Comment with photos of her hair showing how it looks with the correct products. Is there a reason she could not pack her hair products when she goes to his house? He’s acting like she is 7, not 17!”<\/p>\n

Your Ex Is Acting Weird & Ridiculous <\/h2>\n
\"Tired
Image Credits: Deposit Photos<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

“Your ex is ridiculous. Brooke is 16 years old. It should be her decision what to do with her hair. It\u2019s not like she\u2019s asking to die a rainbow or get a Mohawk. She needs the correct products for natural curls. She is there so infrequently that one set of whatever she needs should last a long time. I\u2019m a little worried he might drag her to a salon and try to have it done anyway since he\u2019s so up in arms about it. I\u2019d talk to Brooke to ensure she understands she doesn\u2019t have to cut her hair.”<\/p>\n

He Could’ve Found A Sensible Solution<\/h2>\n
\"young
Image Credits: Deposit Photos<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

“Well, from OP\u2019s comments, it looks like the plan WAS for Brooke to take the products, but she forgot. It\u2019s a perfectly reasonable human mistake. If dad cares so much about what his daughter\u2019s hair looks like, he could <\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Drive Brooke to OP\u2019s house to get the products, or<\/li>\n
  2. Buy them himself. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Chopping off Brooke\u2019s hair when she doesn\u2019t want to should never have even been an option with a good parent. You bring up medication in another comment- if your child forgot their meds, you\u2019d either drive to get them back or order more from the pharmacy. OP\u2019s not the jerk; stop blaming them for their ex\u2019s laziness.”<\/p>\n

    More From Mrs Daaku Studio<\/h2>\n
    \"\"
    Image Credits: Deposit Photos<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    He Took Care of His Daughter For Two Weeks While Wife Was Away. Says, “For all the work that I did, the one tiny mistake I made, and she slammed for after 2 weeks.” Is He Right? <\/p>\n

    Read more to know what happened.<\/a><\/p>\n

    He REFUSED To Let The Passenger In Front of Him To Recline Her Seat on a Flight. She Calls Him A Jerk. Is This Justified?<\/h2>\n
    \"Tired
    Image Credits: Deposit Photos<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    He refused to let the passenger in front of him recline the seat. She gets irritated, but we think she is the one who is wrong. You decide. Read here.<\/a> <\/p>\n

    She REFUSED To Pay Her Friend $7000 For Her Share of Trip To Italy. We Think She Did Right.<\/h2>\n
    \"\"
    Image Credits: Deposit Photos.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    She REFUSED To Pay Her Friend $7000 For Her Share of Trip To Italy. We Think She Did Right. Read here<\/a><\/p>\n

    He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance & 401K. Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right<\/h2>\n
    \"Portrait
    Image Credit; Deposit Photos<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance & 401K. Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right. <\/p>\n

    Read more.<\/a><\/p>\n

    He Took His friend’s Wallet By Mistake and REFUSED To Return It When Asked. Thinks His Friend Is A Jerk, Not Him. Did He Go Too Far?<\/h2>\n
    \"portrait
    Image Credit; Deposit Photos<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    He Took His Friends Wallet By Mistake, and REFUSED To Return It When Asked. Thinks His Friend Is A Jerk, Not Him. Did He Go Too Far?  Read here.<\/a><\/p>\n

    This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Mothers can sometimes be controlling, and while this is not always a bad thing, it can cross a line when it becomes harmful to the child. A woman asks, Am I a jerk for not allowing my ex-husband to cut our daughter\u2019s hair and \u201cgiving him no say in his daughter\u2019s problem\u201d? We want to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":31524,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18168","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories"],"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false,"thumbnail":false,"medium":false,"medium_large":false,"large":false,"1536x1536":false,"2048x2048":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Chhavi","author_link":"https:\/\/mrsdaakuacademy.com\/author\/chhavi_mrsdaaku\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Mothers can sometimes be controlling, and while this is not always a bad thing, it can cross a line when it becomes harmful to the child. A woman asks, Am I a jerk for not allowing my ex-husband to cut our daughter\u2019s hair and \u201cgiving him no say in his daughter\u2019s problem\u201d? We want to...","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrsdaakuacademy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18168","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrsdaakuacademy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrsdaakuacademy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrsdaakuacademy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrsdaakuacademy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18168"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mrsdaakuacademy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18168\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrsdaakuacademy.com\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrsdaakuacademy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18168"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrsdaakuacademy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18168"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrsdaakuacademy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18168"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}