How heartless does one have to be to refuse to help a family member in an emergency? An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for refusing to babysit my nieces?”. We need you to find out!
BACKSTORY
When the Original Poster’s (OP’s) (28F) sister May (30F) was twenty, she got pregnant with her daughter Reece. OP thinks their parents immediately rushed to satisfy her sister and help her and her now-husband Mike (33M) with everything.
THROWBACK TO THEIR COLLEGE TIME
May continued college while OP’s parents paid for everything she and her child would need. Mike worked with OP’s dad as an intern at his company while continuing to go to college, which continued even after she gave birth.
“My parents would watch her kid until she or Mike came home, and I always found that to be very unfair on my parents,” says OP.
MAY’S EXTRAORDINARY LIFE
After college, May and Mike got married and had two more kids (twins) (4F) and extraordinary lives. They both work late hours sometimes, so OP’s mom or dad will watch the kids until either one comes home.
“I again think this is unfair and hate how they are using my parents as free babysitters. It’s uncool, in my opinion”, says OP.
WHAT HAPPENED RECENTLY?
Recently, OP’s parents decided to visit OP’s aunt in another state and left on Tuesday. OP was happy because she thought it would force her sister to “grow up and learn” that she can’t use their parents like she does.
“Well, that didn’t happen because she asked me if I could watch the twins for an hour until Mike comes home while she takes Reece to the hospital after she hurt herself. I immediately told her no and told her to find someone else,” says OP.
MAY WAS DISAPPOINTED
May was disappointed and then spent half an hour on the phone asking everyone she knew if they could watch the twins. Everyone said what OP said, and she nearly broke down crying when she looked at OP. She began begging and telling OP she’ll even pay her for watching them just this once.
“I again told her no and that they were her kids and she needed to grow up and watch them finally. She said nothing and quickly got the kids out and in the car before driving off”, says OP.
AN HOUR LATER
An hour later, OP was called by her mom, and she was telling OP how disappointed she was in her and how family helps the family.
“I said they do, but I refuse to indulge May like she and my dad did, that May needs to grow up and watch her kids. Mom said nothing before hanging up. So am I a jerk for refusing to babysit?” asks OP.
SOME MORE CONTEXT
OP later edited the post and added the following information:
“My parents have never complained about watching the kids, and they offer to watch them most times so my sister and her husband don’t have to pay for daycare. My sister also has never asked me to watch them until now.”
HOW HEARTLESS ARE YOU?
“You’re the jerk. Your sister asked you to watch them because it was an emergency & she was taking a child to the emergency room. How heartless that you watched her make calls for 30 minutes while you watched Reece suffer in pain!”
YOUR JEALOUSY IS SHOWING
“Of course, you’re the jerk. You chose not to help for no other reason than to teach your sister some lesson? Your jealousy is showing.”
IT WAS AN EMERGENCY SITUATION
“You’re the jerk. Your sister’s daughter hurt herself; it was an emergency, and it wouldn’t have killed you to babysit one time. Additionally, it’s not your business if your parents watch her kids. Most grandparents are happy to watch their grandchildren. If they have a problem, that’s between them and your sister. You sound like a bad, selfish sister and aunt.”
YOUR ATTITUDE IS AWFUL
“You’re the jerk. It was a literal emergency. Your attitude is awful. Watching a child while their mother takes someone to the hospital isn’t ‘coddling’ them.”
YOU’RE PATHETIC
“You’re pathetic. You couldn’t wait to turn your sister down because you thought Mommy and Daddy were paying more attention to her than you. Also, let’s be honest here: you aren’t concerned for them, or you would have had a long talk with them about it. I’d be so ashamed of you!”
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