As they say, you cannot eat your cake and have it too.
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for being the reason why the family vacation has to be canceled?”. We need you to find out!
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster (OP) married for money. OP’s husband is with OP for appearances, and they are happy with their arrangement.
“My husband and I married because I have all the ‘qualifications’ to please his family, and he takes financial care of me. We are very fond of each other and even love each other. But not in the classical marriage sense,” says OP.
WHAT IS OP’S MARITAL RELATIONSHIP LIKE?
She (OP) and her husband are like amazing roommates with some benefits.
“He and I are free to live independently and without stress. He is not worried about being cut off from his family. I am finally financially stable and free to work my less economically beneficial job,” says OP.
THE PROBLEM
OP’s sisters have never approved of her decision.
“They say I sold myself, which is fair. But still, we (used) to be civil with each other,” says OP.
WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK?
Last week, they had a family barbecue. OP went without her husband. Everything was going great until OP’s oldest niece (21) sat down next to OP, and they started talking.
“She straight up asked me if I was with my husband for money. I explained to her how we met, our agreement, and so on. She then asked me if I thought it would be okay for her to pretend to be her gay best friend’s Girlfriend.
I told her it was up to her to decide and if there were no negatives to it (like her having actual feelings for him, someone getting hurt like a romantic partner, etc). It was a lovely talk”, says OP.
STRIKE TWO
Strike two was when OP’s other nieces asked OP where her husband was, and OP told them that he was on vacation.
“They asked me why I didn’t go with him, and I said that we only sometimes go together on vacations. We usually take little trips together but go on longer vacations with friends or family,” says OP.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Her (OP’s) niece (16) asked OP if it was true what her mom and aunt said about OP being a gold digger, and OP just said, “I guess so.”
“Like, that doesn’t faze me. My sisters constantly talk about me behind my back, and I am not ashamed of my marriage. So I see no need to lie,” says OP.
LATER THAT NIGHT
Later that night, OP’s sisters cornered OP, and they fought over OP’s words with her nieces. They said it was utterly inappropriate what OP told them.
“I am free to live my messed up life but not to let my niece think it is okay what I do. I called them small-minded and said that I was only answering my nieces’ questions and was even honest. They are free to make their own decisions”, says OP.
THE CHAOS CONTINUED
OP’s sisters kept cornering OP, calling her names, and saying she was influencing their daughters negatively because she was miserable.
She (OP) said some words back and left, not talking to them the whole week.
“Now there is a huge fallout because I pulled out of the family vacation because of this fight. But the vacation would be at my husband’s summer house. If I am not going, my husband feels uncomfortable lending my family the house.
My family has been calling me a huge jerk, and my sisters said I was blowing things out of proportion. Am I a jerk? Should I still go?” asks OP.
YOU DID NOTHING WRONG
“Not the jerk. You didn’t even say anything to the kids, let alone anything inappropriate! They were asking you inappropriate questions because that’s what they heard about you from their parents. Your sisters sound jealous as hell!”
THEY’VE TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES
“Not the jerk. Oh no, the consequences of their actions! Christ, if you’re happy, they should be happy for you. There is more to life than the way they live their lives. Good on you for being happy and helping your husband.”
THEY’RE SUPER SELFISH
“Not the jerk. They want financial benefits for free and cannot even be nice to you. So, they seem to need a new accommodation for their summer vacation.”
THEY’RE JEALOUS AND JUDGEMENTAL
“Not the jerk. Your marriage affords you an easier home and work life. They want to benefit from that (use your husband’s summer house), but they also want to judge you for it. They are jealous, plain and simple.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.