If one of your family members were to marry, get divorced, and then remarry the same person, would you bring them a gift the second time?
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for not gifting my sister a second wedding gift?”. Here’s the full story for your context.
BACKSTORY
Two years ago, the Original Poster’s (OP’s) sister married her high school love after they were together for about eight years.
THE EXPENSIVE GIFT
For their wedding, OP bought them a pretty expensive couch ($7.6k) because it was part of their wedding wishlist for close family.
Back then, OP’s sister was stunned by the gift and said it was the best one she got.
THE SURPRISING TURN OF EVENTS
However, they divorced around half a year later, and OP still has no clue why. But after a year break, six months ago, they got back together, and a while ago, they decided to marry again.
EXPECTATIONS FOR THE SECOND MARRIAGE
They want to do it again in a church with a big wedding like the first time. OP has nothing against that, but today, their sister sent them and their family another wishlist for this wedding, and OP’s family, who all gifted her stuff worth around $500-600 last time, don’t have a problem with that.
WHAT DID OP DO NEXT?
But since OP’s gift was ten times more expensive than that, OP informed their sister that she’s not getting another one unless it’s a gift card for about $100.
SISTER FREAKS OUT
The sister completely freaked out and said that it was her wedding and how OP could be so selfish.
“My family is on her side, so I don’t know if I’m the jerk or not?” asks OP.
NOT THE JERK AT ALL
“Not the jerk at all. Your sister is not even marrying someone new! She’s lucky you’re giving up another Saturday to attend a 2nd wedding for her doomed, toxic marriage. The way you told her could’ve been more tactful and diplomatic, but she can whine and cry about it on her $7k couch (how she’s not still just immensely grateful for a $7k couch is beyond me).”
SHE SOUNDS GREEDY AS HELL
“Not the jerk. The greed is strong in this one. Your sister is marrying the same guy. I wouldn’t give any gift whatsoever. You’ve already gifted for this marriage. ‘Lather, rinse, repeat’ doesn’t call for a new round of gifts.”
YOU’RE NOT OBLIGATED AT ALL
“Not the jerk. You’re never obligated to give expensive gifts, and given that they choose to have a second wedding, it doesn’t mean they can act entitled to equal gifts. You shouldn’t have said anything and just given her $100 and a card.”
JUSTIFIABLE GIFT
“Not the jerk. I’m amazed anyone even wants to attend. Their only justifiable ‘gift’ would be counseling for their entitlement.”
DON’T BE THEIR DOORMAT
“Not the jerk. Please don’t be their doormat. Don’t buy a second gift for your entitled sister. You can block her and her supporters temporarily. Don’t be an enabler of bad behavior.”
ARE THEY DOING IT FOR THE GIFTS?
“Not the jerk! I wouldn’t even be getting another gift! Sounds like they are getting remarried just for the gifts! If it were for love, it would be a small thing where they would demand no presents.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.