Traditions and customs can be sexist because they often reinforce gender roles and stereotypes. This can limit the opportunities and experiences of individuals based on their gender.
As educated people, we need to ask ourselves where we draw the line on accepting this.
A user asked Am I wrong for not taking my girlfriend’s side over a sexist tradition at a restaurant? We want to know what you think.
Backstory:
The Original Poster (O.P.) is a 26-year-old male, and a second-generation French immigrant to the U.S. OP speaks French. Most of his family lives there, so he tries to visit France once or twice a year.
Now, OP has been dating an American girl who is 24 years old for almost 2 years. OP’s girlfriend needs to speak French.
What Happened Next?
OP usually goes to France at about Christmas time. The most recent Christmas, OP’s girlfriend wanted to go with him. OP agreed.
What Happened
As OP had family in Paris, that was their first stop. OP’s girlfriend wanted to eat at a fancy French restaurant with Michelin stars.
They made reservations for good restaurants months in advance, and it was a high-demand restaurant with a dress code.
Read: She Made Her Daughter Miss Therapy To Clean Her Closet. We’re Shocked. Is This Even Fair?
What Happened At The Restaurant?
They showed up, and everything was fine at first. The restaurant people took their coats and they sat down. The ambience was beautiful.
The waiter gave them each a menu. Most of the communication was done by OP as his girlfriend didn’t know French.
What Did She Notice
OP was showing something on his menu, and his girlfriend noticed that his menu had prices while hers didn’t. OP had forgotten entirely about this tradition because it’s not common in the US.
What Did She Do
OP’s girlfriend asked the reason behind it. OP explained that it was just a tradition in many upscale French restaurants. She called it sexist and said it was ridiculous. OP told her it was just the way in these places and that they shouldn’t have come here if she was upset.
What Did She Want
She wanted OP to ask for a menu with prices for her, and OP refused because they already had the prices. OP also didn’t want to make a scene. She demanded that OP confront a waiter about it, or she would walk out.
OP called her bluff, and she stayed but didn’t talk to OP for the whole meal.
What’s Happening Now?
They have been back home for several months, but she keeps bringing it up. OP is honestly considering ending the relationship over this because she will not stop talking about it. She keeps accusing OP of being sexist and has been making ridiculous comparisons.
O.P. wants to know if he was wrong.
You Had To Ask
“All you had to do was say “Sir, my companion would appreciate a menu that includes the price list.” It seems unlikely this would have caused a scene. He’s a waiter responsible for customer service. It may be tradition, but I highly doubt it’s restaurant policy to refuse to share their prices with their female clientele.”
You Did NOT Support Her
“Jerk, she felt discriminated and you did not support her. And failed her as a partner. Tradition does not make misogyny ok. These restaurants should adapt themselves to modern society. Not the other way around.”
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