Abandoning a beloved dog is unfair, and there is no excuse for such a heartless act. A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for checking my husband’s dashcam footage on his car without his consent.”
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster (OP) (34F) lives with his husband (37M) and daughter (7F).
She and her daughter recently went on a short trip out of state while her husband stayed as he had work and was supposed to look after their dog.
A CALL FROM HER HUSBAND
On the last day of their trip, they got a call from her husband, who was acting distraught and said that their dog Ellie had run away and that he could not find her.
WHAT DID OP’S HUSBAND SAY?
Her husband claimed she bolted away from him in the park into some bushes, and he could not find her.
HOW DID OP FEEL?
She says that their dog is quite small, a mini poodle mix, and almost 13 years old; she is still active, but it is really unlike her to run away from them, and she was suspicious but chose to believe her husband.
She also added that she and her daughter were grieving but did not want to blame him.
THEY RETURNED HOME
When they returned home, her husband seemed surprisingly fine, unlike them.
WHAT DID HER HUSBAND THINK ABOUT THE DOG?
She says that ever since the pandemic, her husband started working from home, and he has always been annoyed at how much attention they gave Ellie and hated how Ellie begged to sit on their laps while he worked.
A GOOD NEWS
A few days later, they got a call from an animal rescue in a neighboring state near them that their dog had been found.
She picked up the phone on their landline, which they rarely use, but it was the contact on the microchip.
HOW WAS HER HUSBAND’S REACTION?
She told her husband, and he just said, “That is great; I am so happy,” she says it felt kind of blunt and insincere.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
She said it was strange that her dog got so far, and he responded that someone must have stolen and abandoned her. It made little sense to her as to why that would happen.
SHE COPIED VIDEOS FROM HIS DASHCAM
When he was out drinking with his buddies, she copied the videos from his dashcam for the days she was away and saw that he had indeed taken Ellie far out of state and clearly dropped her in front of his car, thrown a frisbee-like object into a field, yelled fetch and drove off without her.
WHAT WAS HER HUSBAND’S ANSWER TO IT?
She says that she was livid and confronted him, and he just stupidly muttered how he dropped her there so the dog could find a farm and have a better life, and then the next day, her husband got furious at her for viewing his dashcam and called her and her daughter as a jerk.
LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND IN THE ANOTHER STATE
“Not a jerk. Keep your dog and daughter and leave the husband in another state to find another family he’d have a better life with.”
IT IS A CRUEL ACT
“You had a gut feeling and were absolutely right. This is horrible. What your husband did is SICK and cruel. He left an innocent animal to die.
Obviously, what you do now is up to you. But if it were me, I would never be able to trust him again. The entire relationship would be ruined.
He needs to seek therapy if he is so insecure that he is jealous of a dog. Pathetic excuse for a man.”
YOU ARE NOT WRONG FOR CHECKING HIS DASHCAM
“You clearly had reason to suspect he committed a crime.
Well, that’s everyone’s excuse for spying, so let me go a little further.
I’m not troubled by the invasion of personal privacy because I think that as a spouse, you have at least some communal access to the use of certain property that is technically owned or used by the other spouse, like a car.
So among the things that you would be naturally inclined to check and have access to, the dashcam footage would be one of them. Others might disagree.”
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