Looking out for someone is okay, but in the course of doing so, it is important to not overstep their boundaries.
The Original Poster (OP) took to the forum and asked “Am I wrong for pushing my husband to find a new job?”. We want to know from you.
BACKSTORY
OP’s husband is in his 30s and has a master’s degree in engineering. He works at a large corporation as a manager.
PROMOTION
He was recently promoted to the manager position in November.
Although he deserved to get promoted to the second tire position, he didn’t because he was four months short of the required work experience for that position.
IT DISAPPOINTS HIM
OP’s husband told her that it angered him thinking about how undervalued he was. His company has a reputation of holding people below their deserved tire, and spending tons of money on new hires.
WHAT DID THE DIRECTOR SAY?
After he was promoted, the director said that the second promotion would be fast.
WHAT DID THEY EXPECT?
They expected his second promotion was going to be in April, considering the previous promotion happened in November.
But April has already passed and he didn’t get promoted.
WHAT DID OP SUGGEST?
OP told her husband that if he doesn’t get promoted within August, then he should start looking for a new job.
HE LOVES HIS CURRENT JOB
OP’s husband loves his current job. He loves the work environment, and the kind of work he does.
Also, the work environment is pretty chill here. This is the reason why OP told his wife that he didn’t really want to start over once again and that money isn’t the only thing they should be concerned about.
OP FORCED HIM
OP told her husband that he is a young engineer with a masters degree and 10 years of work experience, so it is the perfect time for him to join some other company for a higher wage.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
He asked OP “well how much does money matter?”, and OP rebutted, “well why don’t you answer that question?”, at which point he mumbled and grumbled (and giggled) because money has always mattered more to him than me and he knows it.
OP says, “I feel like I’m just trying to prevent him from doing something he regrets in being complacent. But maybe I’m wrong. So wrong?”
WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK?
“If he’s unhappy or uncomfortable where he is, he’ll make a move. If he basically likes his job and there’s nothing bad about the office culture, the commute or the work-life balance, he’s better off there than in a burnout shop, even if his paychecks are bigger.”, said one user.
“There is some responsibility in a partnership but it’s not like her husband is squandering his degree getting paid to wait tables or something. There’s nothing wrong with that either but I would encourage someone to not give up on their desired field in that situation.
Or if for example your partner quit their job to take a new one at like 1/3rd the salary, that has massive implications for your shared quality of life and life goals and should be something you talk about. But this is not that.”, said another user.
OP SHOULD BE MORE SUPPORTIVE
“She definitely wants the best for him, but It is very inappropriate for her to demand that he handle HIS career as she sees fit. OP should be more supportive as a partner rather than being the dictator.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.